Saturday, May 9, 2009
Fat person reflection...
Thursday when I was walking across campus I had passed a younger white fat girl with huge legs like cheese wedges in this short skirt and really high heels, and when I was like ten feet behind her, I heard her collapse, and I looked back and her left heel had snapped and she was there all tumbled up on the ground. My first instinct was to go back and help her and see if she was okay, but my second instinct was that she might be embarrassed that she's so fat and was wearing too-thin high heels, so I decided to err on the side of discretion, and I didn't go back and help her.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Addendum.
I forgot -
At that sex social hour thing, the young 20s quiet Asian girl with a broad face who's currently working at a peep show left at the end of the night with an older, slightly creepy white man who had offered her a ride home, and though she had mentioned her roommates when talking with me, she seemed to have a pretty full smaller camping-style backpack, and a bedroll with her when she left.
Also, a lot of days no one picks you out at the peep show, so you're there for like 8 hours and don't make any money at all.
At that sex social hour thing, the young 20s quiet Asian girl with a broad face who's currently working at a peep show left at the end of the night with an older, slightly creepy white man who had offered her a ride home, and though she had mentioned her roommates when talking with me, she seemed to have a pretty full smaller camping-style backpack, and a bedroll with her when she left.
Also, a lot of days no one picks you out at the peep show, so you're there for like 8 hours and don't make any money at all.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Went to the sex doc social hour on Tuesday.
So, Tuesday night I went to the sex documentary social hour linked with the sex documentary thing I've been going to. The bar was warm, so I was looking for someplace to hang up my hoodie and the Greek-English copy of Epictetus that I had been reading on the bus, and I run into the swingers, the bigger-set black girl around my age who drops every once in a while that she does sex work, and this one woman ("Judith") who's active in the local BDSM community and, as it turns out, also teaches the standardized sex education curriculum for her Unitarian-Universalist congregation.
"What are you reading there?", the swinger lady was like, and then said, jokingly, "Have you come to thump a bible at us? Your book looks around that size."
When I told them Epictetus, they were very interested, and the swinger lady was like, "You are so cute!", and then asked all about him. Everyone was very morally attuned, and immediately latched onto a problem in his ethical system that I hadn't thought of, that his "standing up for principles shows who you are" doesn't take into account family obligations, and that that was easy for him to say as a celibate, childless freed slave.
The swinger lady also added that she found this one book on Tantra she read a while ago very profound, since it said that you had to hit rock bottom and feel that there was nothing moral whatsoever before you could build your life back up and become a truly moral person.
Since the event is co-hosted by a meet-up group for sex workers, I ended up talking with this young 20s quiet Asian girl with a broad face who's currently working at a peep show. She said you go on shift for 8 hours and have to be there the entire time, but you only get paid if someone picks you out of the book for a show, so most of the time you end up talking with the other girls and sleeping. When you do go on shift, there's three rooms, two where you're behind glass and one where you're in a cage, but luckily the bars are far enough apart so you can give handjobs or a blowjob if a guy pays you, though she's only done handjobs, which she likes since the guys, who are mostly businessmen, it seems, like it after they get off and during the show while they touch her...
She said she used to be really sexually repressed, and thought she would just be doing masturbation with a lot of toys, and was shocked on her first day when she showed up and another girl said a lot of guys would expect blowjobs but not to give it to them for less than $200 (a session is $80).
She also tried to be a dominatrix for a couple weeks, but she said she was too shy for it, and the first day she enjoyed where they taught her how to use a whip, but the whole thing with the small metal rods you stick up guy's urethras was a little much for her, and then electricity on top of that was way too much.
Another guy joined us, who was tall and thin and Native American-looking and had a leather cowboy hat on, and they seemed to know each other, and then he started talking about brothels in Amsterdam, and how the sleaze that he gets off on is gone, but prostitutes are straightforward if they're straight or not, and the men he's hired are all very upfront with negotiations, not like in the U.S. where it turns out to be $10 extra for a guy to swallow on a $40 blowjob.
Later in the night he got drunk and as I walked by him (his back was to me), he turned around to pat my head.
Later that night too I talked with the fatter white 2nd-wave feminist who had showed up two movies ago and stayed for the discussion group, and she was talking about how she feels alienated from many lesbians her age since they're still rabid separatists and they haven't forgiven her for having fucked a guy once.
"If you're so much more lesbian-than-thou because women are better," she said, "How do you know if women are better if you've never slept with a man? I tell them that and they still don't get it."
Later later that night too I talked with the movie series hostess, who does BDSM activism, and this other ph.d. student who does psychology and is also a BDSMer and does BDSM activism, and when I joined their table they were talking about BDSM pseudonyms, so I asked them for advice on pseudonyms for when I become a life coach.
"You need something shiny," the movie series hostess said.
Later, the BDSM ph.d. student taught me hand gestures and stuff like that that I can use in life coaching sessions to add energy to the session and give myself gravitas... He said he had thought a lot about this, and this has helped him out a lot in teaching undergrad sections.
At the end of the night when everyone was leaving I gave out a lot of hugs to cement everyone's increasing mutual endearment, but when I went to hug the swinger lady after I hugged her partner, she ducked the hug, and then tickled me up and down while being like, "Cutie cutie cutie cutie cutie cutie cutie," and laughed on the way out and was like, "See you Tuesday!".
After I left, I realized I forgot to close out my tab, so I had to go back for my credit card. I had had two beers, and a really good burger; last social hour I had eaten half of a leftover burger that had been abandoned on the bar where I was waiting to order a drink, and I liked how the burger had been soaked in Worcestershire sauce (always put way too much salt on my food).
When I got home, a silverfish scurried across the apartment entryway when I entered the main door of my building, so I crushed it. When I was brushing my teeth like ten minutes later in my apartment bathroom, I glanced in the tub and saw a 3.5 inch one sitting in my tub, so I took of my house sandal and whacked the fuck out of... It looks like it's that season again.
"What are you reading there?", the swinger lady was like, and then said, jokingly, "Have you come to thump a bible at us? Your book looks around that size."
When I told them Epictetus, they were very interested, and the swinger lady was like, "You are so cute!", and then asked all about him. Everyone was very morally attuned, and immediately latched onto a problem in his ethical system that I hadn't thought of, that his "standing up for principles shows who you are" doesn't take into account family obligations, and that that was easy for him to say as a celibate, childless freed slave.
The swinger lady also added that she found this one book on Tantra she read a while ago very profound, since it said that you had to hit rock bottom and feel that there was nothing moral whatsoever before you could build your life back up and become a truly moral person.
Since the event is co-hosted by a meet-up group for sex workers, I ended up talking with this young 20s quiet Asian girl with a broad face who's currently working at a peep show. She said you go on shift for 8 hours and have to be there the entire time, but you only get paid if someone picks you out of the book for a show, so most of the time you end up talking with the other girls and sleeping. When you do go on shift, there's three rooms, two where you're behind glass and one where you're in a cage, but luckily the bars are far enough apart so you can give handjobs or a blowjob if a guy pays you, though she's only done handjobs, which she likes since the guys, who are mostly businessmen, it seems, like it after they get off and during the show while they touch her...
She said she used to be really sexually repressed, and thought she would just be doing masturbation with a lot of toys, and was shocked on her first day when she showed up and another girl said a lot of guys would expect blowjobs but not to give it to them for less than $200 (a session is $80).
She also tried to be a dominatrix for a couple weeks, but she said she was too shy for it, and the first day she enjoyed where they taught her how to use a whip, but the whole thing with the small metal rods you stick up guy's urethras was a little much for her, and then electricity on top of that was way too much.
Another guy joined us, who was tall and thin and Native American-looking and had a leather cowboy hat on, and they seemed to know each other, and then he started talking about brothels in Amsterdam, and how the sleaze that he gets off on is gone, but prostitutes are straightforward if they're straight or not, and the men he's hired are all very upfront with negotiations, not like in the U.S. where it turns out to be $10 extra for a guy to swallow on a $40 blowjob.
Later in the night he got drunk and as I walked by him (his back was to me), he turned around to pat my head.
Later that night too I talked with the fatter white 2nd-wave feminist who had showed up two movies ago and stayed for the discussion group, and she was talking about how she feels alienated from many lesbians her age since they're still rabid separatists and they haven't forgiven her for having fucked a guy once.
"If you're so much more lesbian-than-thou because women are better," she said, "How do you know if women are better if you've never slept with a man? I tell them that and they still don't get it."
Later later that night too I talked with the movie series hostess, who does BDSM activism, and this other ph.d. student who does psychology and is also a BDSMer and does BDSM activism, and when I joined their table they were talking about BDSM pseudonyms, so I asked them for advice on pseudonyms for when I become a life coach.
"You need something shiny," the movie series hostess said.
Later, the BDSM ph.d. student taught me hand gestures and stuff like that that I can use in life coaching sessions to add energy to the session and give myself gravitas... He said he had thought a lot about this, and this has helped him out a lot in teaching undergrad sections.
At the end of the night when everyone was leaving I gave out a lot of hugs to cement everyone's increasing mutual endearment, but when I went to hug the swinger lady after I hugged her partner, she ducked the hug, and then tickled me up and down while being like, "Cutie cutie cutie cutie cutie cutie cutie," and laughed on the way out and was like, "See you Tuesday!".
After I left, I realized I forgot to close out my tab, so I had to go back for my credit card. I had had two beers, and a really good burger; last social hour I had eaten half of a leftover burger that had been abandoned on the bar where I was waiting to order a drink, and I liked how the burger had been soaked in Worcestershire sauce (always put way too much salt on my food).
When I got home, a silverfish scurried across the apartment entryway when I entered the main door of my building, so I crushed it. When I was brushing my teeth like ten minutes later in my apartment bathroom, I glanced in the tub and saw a 3.5 inch one sitting in my tub, so I took of my house sandal and whacked the fuck out of... It looks like it's that season again.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Addendum to a couple posts ago.
I forgot -
In the same dream as the eyebrows, I also dreamed that I was studying at the library and got up to go to the bathroom, and as I was walking away my laptop was stolen.
In the same dream as the eyebrows, I also dreamed that I was studying at the library and got up to go to the bathroom, and as I was walking away my laptop was stolen.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Australians.
I love how blithely inappropriate Australians can get.
For some reason this weekend - actually, because I saw an absolutely adorable little (black) kid with their mom walking around on Sunday, when it was such a nice day - I thought back to Easter brunch I had at the one Australian student in my program's place.
There, for some reason the conversation turned to about some cute (black) kid, and the one Australian student in my program was completely un-self-consciously like, "Oh, I love little black children, they're the cutest thing on earth. Like I always tell [name of her husband, the randy Episcopalian priest], I would have a child, if he could guarantee that it would be an adorable little black child."
For some reason this weekend - actually, because I saw an absolutely adorable little (black) kid with their mom walking around on Sunday, when it was such a nice day - I thought back to Easter brunch I had at the one Australian student in my program's place.
There, for some reason the conversation turned to about some cute (black) kid, and the one Australian student in my program was completely un-self-consciously like, "Oh, I love little black children, they're the cutest thing on earth. Like I always tell [name of her husband, the randy Episcopalian priest], I would have a child, if he could guarantee that it would be an adorable little black child."
Monday, May 4, 2009
Dream.
Like a night or two ago I dreamt I had a really thick monobrow, with hairs curling out like almost a half-inch from it, and I was trimming them off with a pair of full-size scissors, awkwardly.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Dancing.
Tonight when I came into the library, there was a Mexican dance troupe out on the lawn out front (for Cinco de Mayo?).
Anyhow, I came in, and I asked my one black friend who works the library desk on Sunday nights if she had seen it.
"Yeah," she was like, "And all y'all can keep all that shit away from me, I don't need any swine flu."
Anyhow, I came in, and I asked my one black friend who works the library desk on Sunday nights if she had seen it.
"Yeah," she was like, "And all y'all can keep all that shit away from me, I don't need any swine flu."
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