I ALSO WANT -
To hire a cleaning lady to come in every couple weeks and tidy up my apt., and esp. to take care of the dusting.
As soon as I get steady money, I'm totally doing that, I think it'd be totally worth it.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
...what's up...
...with Chinese people always chewing with their mouth open, and not noticing it.
I went to a lunch talk today and the room was full and very quiet, and while the speaker was speaking you could hear this small early 30s Chinese woman chewing croutons with her mouth open.
Fortunately she stopped for a while, but then she took a big swig of water and continued to chew the croutons, and it sounded like a child leadenly stepping around in thick much with galoshes.
I went to a lunch talk today and the room was full and very quiet, and while the speaker was speaking you could hear this small early 30s Chinese woman chewing croutons with her mouth open.
Fortunately she stopped for a while, but then she took a big swig of water and continued to chew the croutons, and it sounded like a child leadenly stepping around in thick much with galoshes.
Bar story (2 of 2): Ad.
I was at a southern restaurant having a drink at the bar, and this (white) gay dude and (white) lesbian cop were having a meal next to me at the bar and catching up.
The cop said that she was looking through some union newspaper, and there was this ad with the big headline -
CROWD CONTROL OPPORTUNITIES
- recruiting cops to work overtime during the upcoming G8 summit in the city!
The cop said that she was looking through some union newspaper, and there was this ad with the big headline -
CROWD CONTROL OPPORTUNITIES
- recruiting cops to work overtime during the upcoming G8 summit in the city!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Bar story (1 of 2): Coats.
The other day I had to go downtown to replace my public transportation card, and I stopped off for a drink afterward at this one small grill/bar near the freeway offramp.
It's in an odd section of downtown just at the edge, and it's a mixed crowd of business people and (white) roughnecks.
The waitress was blonde and done-up, and was talking to a regular next to me about how once some drunk woman had taken her coat off the coatrack, worn it around all that night, vomited on it, realized it was someone else's, and then came back right before close to swap it out for her coat.
The regular then said that some young (white) laywer with a goatee doesn't drink much and so gets really hammered when he does, and so had stolen his coat from the bar a couple weeks earlier... When they figured this out, they got each other's numbers from the bar, and the lawyer was difficult to meet with, even though he was really demanding to get his coat back. So, when they finally met up, he wanted to see if the lawyer would offer to buy him a beer, since the laywer was at fault.
He didn't, so he didn't take out the condoms he had put in the coat pocket, for the lawyer's wife to find.
It's in an odd section of downtown just at the edge, and it's a mixed crowd of business people and (white) roughnecks.
The waitress was blonde and done-up, and was talking to a regular next to me about how once some drunk woman had taken her coat off the coatrack, worn it around all that night, vomited on it, realized it was someone else's, and then came back right before close to swap it out for her coat.
The regular then said that some young (white) laywer with a goatee doesn't drink much and so gets really hammered when he does, and so had stolen his coat from the bar a couple weeks earlier... When they figured this out, they got each other's numbers from the bar, and the lawyer was difficult to meet with, even though he was really demanding to get his coat back. So, when they finally met up, he wanted to see if the lawyer would offer to buy him a beer, since the laywer was at fault.
He didn't, so he didn't take out the condoms he had put in the coat pocket, for the lawyer's wife to find.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Grandparents.
The other week at a school lunch function I was sitting with some ministerial students, and somehow I got talking about how my (maternal) grandmother loved to party, and even in her 70s, when she had moved in with my uncle because of aging reasons, she would stay out till all hours drinking and dancing and smoking at the local Polish Legion of American Veterans hall, and then go out for burgers at an all-night place with her friends, and then have to hurry home before my uncle got up for work, so he wouldn't know she was out partying...
She'd usually run in the door right before 6am, throw a bathrobe over her going-out clothes, spray Lysol on herself to disguise the smell of cigarette smoke, and put on coffee and sit at the kitchen table, like she had just gotten up before him and had decided to make some coffee. Then, as soon as he left, she would collapse in bed and sleep till after noon.
(My uncle didn't know she did this all the years till finally my mom told him years after my grandma was dead.)
When I shared this, one ministerial student told about how his grandfather was a hard-drinking jazz musician in Nebraska, and would travel around in small towns womanizing and playing the clarinet and drinking heavily, which contributed to an enlarged heart, from which he finally died.
Another ministerial student talked about how her husband's grandfather was a moonshiner in Florida, and used to hide stills in the Everglades. Eventually, he became a police officer.
She'd usually run in the door right before 6am, throw a bathrobe over her going-out clothes, spray Lysol on herself to disguise the smell of cigarette smoke, and put on coffee and sit at the kitchen table, like she had just gotten up before him and had decided to make some coffee. Then, as soon as he left, she would collapse in bed and sleep till after noon.
(My uncle didn't know she did this all the years till finally my mom told him years after my grandma was dead.)
When I shared this, one ministerial student told about how his grandfather was a hard-drinking jazz musician in Nebraska, and would travel around in small towns womanizing and playing the clarinet and drinking heavily, which contributed to an enlarged heart, from which he finally died.
Another ministerial student talked about how her husband's grandfather was a moonshiner in Florida, and used to hide stills in the Everglades. Eventually, he became a police officer.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Present for my one (black) (female) dean!
I'm regifting to my one (black) (female) (disco-loving) dean the biography of Sylvester:
I was telling her about it before it got over the top with sex and drugs in pre-AIDS gay San Francisco, and she was interested, and then I brought it up to her again the other day about how she should read it, but I made sure to say that it contains lots of "70s excess" and I that I felt uncomfortable recommending it.
"But you know," she was like, "Watch any biography on VH1, and it's the same story. It's always sex and drugs that bring people down, especially the minor stars, since they don't have as much to fall back on."
I was telling her about it before it got over the top with sex and drugs in pre-AIDS gay San Francisco, and she was interested, and then I brought it up to her again the other day about how she should read it, but I made sure to say that it contains lots of "70s excess" and I that I felt uncomfortable recommending it.
"But you know," she was like, "Watch any biography on VH1, and it's the same story. It's always sex and drugs that bring people down, especially the minor stars, since they don't have as much to fall back on."
Monday, January 30, 2012
Iowa Story! - From someone else.
A story from a guy at my one Irish artist friend's potluck -
His friend was visiting his sister in Iowa, but before he gets there, he decides to stop off at a strip club on the way there, this cinder block building in the middle of the cornfields.
It's the middle of the day, and there's one guy on the opposite side of the room who's bundled up in this gray flannel suit, and other than that, there's no-one there for the show that's about to start.
After ordering a drink, he's waiting for the show to start, and this big old (white) stripper comes out wrapped up in an American flag, which she throws open to reveal her big titties, and he hears the guy in the gray flannel suit say in this weird and very loud high-pitched distinctive voice -
"OH WOW!".
So, right away he calls the waitress over and is like, "Hey, is that David Lynch?"
"Who?", she's like.
"David Lynch."
"I don't know, but I can ask him," she was like, and she walks over there, talks to the guy in the flannel suit, and comes back.
"He said yes if it's a woman, no if it's a man," she was like.
. . .
His friend was visiting his sister in Iowa, but before he gets there, he decides to stop off at a strip club on the way there, this cinder block building in the middle of the cornfields.
It's the middle of the day, and there's one guy on the opposite side of the room who's bundled up in this gray flannel suit, and other than that, there's no-one there for the show that's about to start.
After ordering a drink, he's waiting for the show to start, and this big old (white) stripper comes out wrapped up in an American flag, which she throws open to reveal her big titties, and he hears the guy in the gray flannel suit say in this weird and very loud high-pitched distinctive voice -
"OH WOW!".
So, right away he calls the waitress over and is like, "Hey, is that David Lynch?"
"Who?", she's like.
"David Lynch."
"I don't know, but I can ask him," she was like, and she walks over there, talks to the guy in the flannel suit, and comes back.
"He said yes if it's a woman, no if it's a man," she was like.
. . .
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I WANT -
I think I'm done with my anti-materialistic phase. I was thinking the other day it would be nice to have more money so I could have:
- a one-bedroom apartment.
- a new computer, to replace my one from 2001/2002 (erp).
- internet at home.
- a small flatscreen.
- a Playstation.
- a share in a "Community Supported Agriculture Farm", where I give them $20 a week in exchange for a big box of produce.
- a working CD player.
- dental insurance.
- some new clothes.
- the ability to take small trips. like to that apparition site up in Wisconsin, or New Orleans.
I remember my one Dutch said that at some point being a poor grad student stops being romantic, and just starts being tiresome. I think it just started being tiresome for me.
- a one-bedroom apartment.
- a new computer, to replace my one from 2001/2002 (erp).
- internet at home.
- a small flatscreen.
- a Playstation.
- a share in a "Community Supported Agriculture Farm", where I give them $20 a week in exchange for a big box of produce.
- a working CD player.
- dental insurance.
- some new clothes.
- the ability to take small trips. like to that apparition site up in Wisconsin, or New Orleans.
I remember my one Dutch said that at some point being a poor grad student stops being romantic, and just starts being tiresome. I think it just started being tiresome for me.
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