My new plan vs. the kitchen ants:

Picking up some recommended essential oils from the natural foods store near me, to dilute and rub or spray all over the counter near my kitchen sink. I really don't like the idea of using ant poison in an area where I have dishes!

Happy coincidence.

My research institute door plaque arrived the same day as a box of books from Germany (reprints of this standard old edition of basic texts for the study of the ancient language that I've been working in).

You know what's a good diet food?

Sugar free jello. I was eating like crap during my healthcare licensing class, and between that and getting less exercise since I'm no longer working at the resthome and running around everywhere all day, I put on like 3-4 pounds, not anything major, but to the point where I could feel it a little bit around my middle. So, like I've done on and off anyhow since I like it, I started making sugar free jello, only now I make sure to always make up a bowl and have it sitting in the fridge whenever I finish the last bowl off. That stuff is like practically water and fills you up and must displace some decent amount of calories, because like between that and a little bit more exercise that I've made myself be getting, it only took me like 3 weeks to shed that extra weight that I had gotten all of a sudden.

So, I misspoke at the drugstore...

...to the (younger) (nice) (slightly big) (black) woman who helped me find where the hand sanitizer was, since I was running out and wanted to buy more in bulk, though I then looked and was disappointed at the sizes that they had: "You know, thanks, but I think I'm going to hold off, I prefer a big jug." . . . (As soon as that left my mouth, I realized how it sounded, but thankfully she didn't seem to notice.)

Library people (2 of 2): Old guy.

Earlier that same library session when I was doing some scanning up by the computer lab, there was a(n elderly) (mid-toned) (black) gentleman by a very nearby computer monitor facing me, and a library staff member was helping him with something to do with a document on screen --- and, when I looked, it turned out to be a social sciences CV in a country where I'd been reading about the language families, for my current research!! So, when he had finished and was getting up, I kindly asked him what exactly he studied, and I identified my own area of research. We then ended up chatting for quite a while about languages and culture, and it turns out that he's a library cataloguer at the university library near me. He also said (obliquely and kindly) that he was not impressed by his professors in graduate school, since they never cared about the students who truly wanted to learn. And he said that kind of out of nowhere, as he made a face and shook his head about academia, after I asked him more precisely what his professional role at the university was.

Library people (1 of 2): Young guy.

In the high-ceilinged public library reading room near me the other day, there was this (early-to-mid-20s) (scruffy) (bearded) (white) guy with an arm tatt and a laptop, who sat down to work without a mask like 30 feet away from me. Like every five minutes or so, he had this great hacking moist cough, and only like 1 out of every 3 times was it into the crook of his arm. It made me glad that we were at a great distance from each other in a high-ceilinged room, and that I had an N95 mask on.

Odd regret.

What I was realizing recently is that in many ways in multiple areas I was in and had some success in, I was uncontrollably prevented by "one major thing" from being a full participant and even getting started on the typical path. Like, because of bullies and a toxic graduate program, I had around 3 (!) wasted years that made me hemorrhage money and energy and that in total really put applying for academic jobs out of the question, even though a commmittee member encouraged me to and spoke about work-arounds, which would have been plausible in most cases, but not doable in my case because of the long-term severity of the situation. So, I was successful in that, but couldn't really start out. And, as I sought to transition career sectors, I had enough relevant experience to get interviews for comms jobs at smaller organizations, but, because admin and faculty were off-mission and wouldn't set up internships and automatic resume-scanners had begun, that resume gap effectively barred me from getting interviews on a scale possible for someone with my credentials even 3-5 years earlier. So, I was incredibly hindered, in pursuing that area. And, in terms of trying to pursue public office, despite a true and compelling story, different personal supporters who encouraged me, etc., the standard fundraising advice that I was getting in multiple early trainings, though *seeming* generally applicable, only really applied to people from certain higher social classes who were first-time candidates, as I only realized too late in the process. And, there too, increasing wealth inequality made it hard for me to fundraise from friends and family etc. on a level that would have been possible even 5-10 years earlier, and during a time when costs had rapidly risen from the last cycle and so you needed more money than ever. So, there again, I looked good on paper, but lacked one big basic (money). Just once, it would be nice to be on a path and have opportunities stay relatively constant, or at least decline slow enough where you could grapple with them and overcome the challenges.