Economic instability // Tenured folk.

My economic instability really gets me some time.

I have to do so much work just to find a consistent income, and even then it's not enough.

Then, the insurance through the Affordable Care Act has been nice, but it's been a ton of work to renew and find out who's in network (and to get after insurance companies when their info is out-of-date), and now I find that they just cancelled my plan and I have to do everything all over again, including maybe finding different primary care physicians etc. if they're not under the cheapest plan that I can find.

Then, I have preventative dental work that would basically wipe out my savings, but I have to go for ASAP, otherwise the costs will be much worse.

Then on top of all of that, it's unclear how quickly once I'm finally able to graduate that I'll be able to find an academic job, and that's an "if" too.

Plus plus plus, I still am going to come out with multi-tens of thousands of dollars in debt in my late 30s, which I'll have to pay off at the same time that I should be saving for retirement (or so people tell me).

Economically, I'm kind of fucked.

G-dd-ss knows what will happen if either of my parents are incapacitated, and care falls on me.

I honestly don't think I'd be able to manage that.

Because of all this, so many tenured professors just make me want to vomit.

They're so cozy in their salaries, and study their little things and masturbate all day, and spout platitudes if you raise problems, and don't even fulfill their basic professional or social responsibilities to take care of students or work to ensure a vibrant academy...

As a (Belgian) friend observed, "They got their piece of the pie, then watched as the ladder got kicked out after them."

They really are just this disgusting aristocracy, self-obsessed and decadent.

The worst are the ones who cook up little vendettas to wage against vulnerable staff and students, creating problems to fill their time and fulfill whatever twisted little personality disorders that they have.

As far as I know, tenure is the best academic system out there, but that doesn't mean that everyone with tenure is palatable as a human being, so many are so far from it.

Aging, and sitting home.

The other weekend I had an invitation to go to a fall party down in the neighborhood near campus, but when it got time to go, it was a bit cold and windy out, and all I wanted to do was sit home.

So, I sat home in my chair and read and did crosswords and listened to a radio program on Saturday night.

I felt so old.

Mexicans, the Italians of Today.

So lately I've been reading the memoir of a nun of Italian heritage, whose family immigrated to an industrial Midwest city in the early 20th century.

That got me to thinking about how Mexican immigrants are like the same today, with people often in low- and entry-level jobs and speaking their own language at home and some non-immigrants occasionally marrying them in moves that some neighbors look down on.

Only, these immigrants are from the same continent, and not across the ocean.

My Czech literature professor friend on freshmen.

A few weeks ago when we were downtown hanging out at that one cozy bar that we both like, she told this one guy from Kansas City who we were talking with that the funny part about teaching freshmen is that they always stay the same age, but you get older.

How Freshmen Age.

The other weekend, I went to go help out a local progressive political campaign and gather signatures to get a candidate onto the ballot.

I showed up at the office at the same time as a couple of (older) (white) dudes, and I ended up hopping into the car of the skinny one with uneven shaving who smelt like must, shit, and a bit of tobacco, and together we went to the western end of the neighborhood near the campus where I teach.

At like the eighth door of the evening, I'm sitting in front of it checking the listed names against the labels by the buzzer, and all of a sudden through the glass door I see an apartment door fly open and as the person whips down the stairs from behind the door and across the small vestibule and goes to open the front door where I'm standing, she draws up short, and it's a writing student I had taught the previous year.

She was surprised, and so was I, it was such a coincidence.

The next time I was on campus, too, I passed by at a bit of a distance someone I had had 2 years ago, and her face was no longer fresh, and had something hard and cautious in the eyes.

Freshmen sure change.

Odd vegan dishes.

The other week, I popped over to visit my one (half Sudanese) (half British) friend for dinner as he finished up a long evening of refinishing the apartment him and his siblings bought together and are re-doing in order to rent out, and as soon as he finished up, he went to go make a meal.

Previous to that, I had offered to bring something over, but he had insisted that he'd do everything, and then that night when I asked if I could help, he was like, "No, it's just a salad, I'll make it."

We then got to talking, and after a while, I notice that he's still making the salad, and I suddenly register that he's mincing red cabbage.

Then, after a bit, he stops, walks over to his fridge, and pulls off the top of it a big box of off-brand Grape Nuts, and then walks back to the preparation area and pours it into the salad.

As it turns out, the salad was minced red cabbage, off-brand Grape Nuts, and a dash of balsamic vinegar.

Vegan dishes can be so odd.

Things you don't think about: Some classic authors.

The other day, a crossword clue referenced Tess of the D'Urbervilles (sp.?), and I started thinking to myself, "When was the last time that I thought of Thomas Hardy?".

It'd been absolutely years upon years, but I honestly couldn't remember exactly beyond that, it'd been so long.