Addendum addendum.

If I had one question to ask these students - and I might, since the prof sometimes slides the convo in a touchy-feely way - I'd ask them, "In your day-to-day life, which larger groups of which you are a part motivate your actions, and why?".

My guess is that none of them have any groups like a church or some larger cause that motivates them, but all would talk about groups (e.g. extracurriculars) that they engage in for instrumental ends.

There's a handful here and there who are different - an athlete, a student protester, someone still feeling her way in her identity and the world - but on the whole I'd expect self-centered answers.

Addendum.

These kids are also f*cked, because they've been *taught* they have diversity, whether or not they actually have it.

I think they see a rainbow of faces, but don't understand that there's not much socioeconomic diversity and thus the conversation is actually intellectually impoverished.

The other day, a student mentioned something to the effect of how rich the conversation was, because of all the different people sitting around the table...

She really had no context on which to make that judgment, but it felt like she was parroting something, and the conversation had been unexceptional, unlike a class I had with the artists where one who's a long-time city person and public transportation worker every once in a while brought up incisive biographically-originating questions on race and appropriation.

(He also was interested in utopian architecture, but that seemed less grounded in his demographic profile, from our conversations.)

In any case, with these elite kids, it's just so self-conscious and empty, in part b/c they're being spoonfed this image by admin who're fucking them for money but not actually paying for the level of diversity they're claiming, and the kids are stupid enough to swallow the lie, or at least too proud to consciously acknowledge what's being done to them, how they're being given a flimflam show and underdelivered.

Worst of all, the biggest enemy to something is the appearance of something, so it's not clear what motivations if any will make that situation change any time soon.

The symbolic capital these children bear is simply wasted on them.

Freshmen at elite colleges.

I'm really appalled by freshmen at elite colleges, esp. this current batch of 8 students I TA for.

It seems like the highly competitive college admissions process stands a high chance of permanently crippling their character, since it forced them to be self-centered and then got them to places that nurture their self-image as a social elite who will do great things.

Strikingly, when discussing their time in high school, they never talk about their time in high school, but rather say "my high school career".

Another grew up wealthy in New York and said straight up that "you are always where you want to be" - i.e., a person in some sense chooses whichever situation they're in.

Yet another seemed somewhat grounded and normal, but mentioned an investment banker aunt, which makes me wonder what latent features in her character might be awakened.

Even one of the most gung-ho volunteers just doesn't get stuff on some level; when the prof gently mentioned transportation problems in the university neighborhood and the history of discriminatory underfunding behind that, she was like, "But they have vans that take us to wherever we need to go" - i.e., she was thinking of herself and her transportation options, rather than those of non-university students, esp. (black) (poor) ones.

Given that the biggest social problem in the U.S. right now is the corruption of powerful elites, these students seem particularly ill-equipped to effect social change on that front, and will likely even be barriers to change to the extent that they continue to be part of the establishment, given that they're so invested in it b/c of their pre-fab competitive admissions process-created personality.

If change comes, it will come from state and non-top tier schools.

Honestly, these children are demographically f*cked.

What's wrong with our society where we honor them?

I wonder what they would think, if they knew that I felt my time with most of them was wasted and just paying the bills, and I'd rather be at the mid-level state school in the city, or working with artists.

My guess is they'd be flummoxed, since I'm guessing they think of themselves as treats to teach and maybe even looking up to them.

Wonderful BDSM Museum paper reflections from my art students:

1) One mentioned that she wasn't looking forward to the trip; she grew up in San Francisco and was used to leather fairs with the typical "oh so shocking fisting demonstration", and had come to find them exclusionary to her as a younger woman.

2) Another was quite taken by the carefully crafted but unused 8lb. buttplug, and stated that its non-functional status made it a religious object.

Dream of Oversleeping.

The night before my second-to-last sex class, I dreamt -

I'm groggy and look up at the alarm, and it's 11:17, and I suddenly realize that I missed my 9am class.

Then, in my dream, I realize that I set 3 alarms and none of the others had gone off, so I must be dreaming, so I stop worrying and return to sleep.

Great word from Biblical Hebrew:

BAQAQ, meaning "empty" (like a flask).

Get it?  It's the sound like when you pour out a small-necked bottle or a flask, ba-qaq-qaq-qaq-qaq-qaq!

Making a Pole laugh.

The other week heading out of the gym on campus one night I ran into my one Asian-Canadian friend and a Polish post-doc colleague of his who I've met a few times before.

It turns out that they were going to a bar to bitch about lab, my friend said, though he added that his Polish colleague "had a good week in lab and a lot of success."

"That's great," I was like, "It will only make your inevitable failure more bitter."

At that, his Polish colleague laughed and was like, "I like the way you think."

"Seriously," I was like, "Laugh now, please.  This may be some of the last happiness that you have."

. . .

After I left, I realized that I should have made a joke that some people say I inherited Polish cynicism, but I call it "realism".