Chin burst.

The other week, I had a sore and softly growing spot like just to the lower left of my lip like triangulated with the bump on my chin, and though I squeezed it hard, nothing was there, it was just like my fingers pressing super hard against a small hard place embedded within my skin.

Then, like a day later after doing some exercise where I had sweated a lot, I could feel it again, so I went into the bathroom and squeezed it, and these little fatty oily yellowish pieces of stuff flew out, like two itty-bitty ones that stuck onto the mirror like right next to each other and just kind of sat there, all dirty and spoiling my mirror.

And, after that, everything went back to normal there on my chin, apart from a very thin scab that developed right at the surface where my deep prodding and pressing must have dislocated the thinnest and most topmost layer of the skin.

To be honest, I was kind of surprised that all that was there again, on my chin; I had had something like that there like two months earlier, and after I had been able to burst it, overnight that same night this weird little fatty dot kind of thing kind of developed on the skin that I could just wipe off since it didn't seem connected to anything, and I had just assumed it was the little pimple sac like you see that one (Asian-American) doctor on TV pull out of people and snip off, and so I had assumed that any pimple thing was gone from that particular place on me, forever.

Except, I guess it wasn't.

"Independent scholar."

The category of "independent scholar" is very interesting

Even with scholars who get tenure-track positions, there's a strong status bent, where scholars at the "best" institutions get inordinate attention and influence, even when they phone it in or cease to really do their jobs.

So, that's one major strike against the institutionally unattached.

But, that said, with less and less tenure-track jobs, there's less people to do the work at journals etc., so apart from the 'army of the hopeful' trying to pump out articles etc. and claw their way out of precarious positions, it's plausible that there's more space for independent scholars than ever before.

Additionally, as there's fewer tenure-track positions, people within the system are more hesitant than ever to question the people who *do* get those jobs, so it's more likely that someone who's institutionally unattached and who doesn't plan to be can do something more innovative and can cut more across-the-grain of what's happening in a field, not to mention give needed pushback to elite scholars at the "best" institutions, especially the ones who are becoming professionally unmoored and more and more visibly erratic.

That is, they can say the unsayable that everyone actually really wants said.

So, there's a weird situation developing, where the traditional locus of professional authority is getting more and more set up to be more and more likely to be delegitimated in really uncomfortable ways.

Just thoughts.

Resthome conversations: (Nigerians) in politics.

The other week at the resthome, I bumped into my one (heavier) (older) (Nigerian) coworker at shift change, and I asked her if she had heard about the one (Nigerian) economist who was going to be head of the World Trade Organization.

"No," she was like. "Who?".

So, I googled her and I showed her her name and her picture, and then she was like, "Oh, Iweala, no-one likes her, she stole a lot and then moved to Europe, she performs for people there, no-one likes her, that is why I didn't hear."

Then, she asked me if I had heard that Joe Biden has 3 Nigerians in his administration.

I hadn't, so I googled it, and I found out that she was right.

It was interesting that she knew this, I thought; she's never struck me as someone who's super plugged into politics, but I guess she mildly is, and news about representation must get around.

Resthome reflection: Verdi.

The other week at the resthome, the one resident who's a retired (music) professor was talking with me about Verdi, his favorite composer.

He said that one of his favorite things about him was that he got better as he aged.

"He wrote a lot of operas," he was like, "And the thing is, he got better at it!"

Subway protectiveness of a stranger to a stranger.

The other week on the subway, the car was decently crowded, and across from me was this (mid-20s) (pretty) (brunette) (white) girl with smooth skin and a black stocking cap on, and this (young) (tall) (kind of mean-looking) (skinny) (black) guy with (dreads).

Then, this (fatter) (odder) (older) (lighter-skinned) (black) guy dressed all in like Carhart black comes over from down the car and stands against the subway pole that goes right into the seat by me so he has his back to me and is right across from the (white) girl, and it hits me as weird even though he isn't doing much, and I see his left hand kind of palm up and jerkily hovering, as he just stands there.

And, the (young) (tall) (kind of mean-looking) (skinny) (black) guy is getting up to go and get off at his stop, and as he leaves, he stops and turns to the (older) (light-skinned) (black) guy and is like, "Whatever weird shit you're doing, don't bring it over here," and he kind of looms up as he says it and he stares at him and he menaces him for a few seconds, and then he moves to the doorway, and then he's gone.

Then, like thirty seconds later, the (older) (light-skinned) (black) guy stutters out to the (white) girl that even with her mask on, she's pretty, and then he kind of hovers by the door, and then he gets off the subway, too.

A paper of mine was hiding from me!

Like a month ago I printed out 2 online encyclopedia articles that I needed to read through intensively and take notes on, as well as one page of an editor's comments on some clues from a crossword that I've been writing.

Like later that week, I couldn't find the sheet of crossword clue comments at all no matter where I looked in my apartment, and then finally I thought of looking at the back of the 2 encyclopedia articles, to see if I had forgotten it there when I had separated out the 2 articles from the printer and stapled them.

And, there was the sheet of crossword clue comments, at the back of the 2nd and longer article.

Resthome treats.

A nice perk of working at the resthome is how certain residents are always giving you treats.

The one retired school nurse had ordered mini-packs of specialty popcorn to give out to staff as treats around the holidays, and now she keeps some in her kitchen for anyone who stops by and needs a snack.

And, someone recently got her a thing of Ghirardelli mini chocolate squares, so she's been giving those out, and the other week when I was escorting her on a walk and my one (skeptical) (Mexican) coworker was going to her room to go do something there, she actually had me chase my coworker down to go offer her a Ghirardelli mini chocolate square, the type with raspberry inside that's inside a pink wrapper.

(The retired school nurse's sweatshirt was pink, too, so I complimented her on how she was color-coordinating with the treats that she was handing out.)

The one very kind resthome resident who's a widow recently shared some crackers with goat cheese on them with me, too, when I bumped into her having a snack out in a common area of the home with a friend, and a bit before that she had given me a few of these little chocolate liquor bottles that have a shot of liquor in the middle, that her daughter had gotten her since she likes them so much.

"Thank you!", I was like, "I'll have these after shift," and she reminded me to bite into the neck and tip your head back when you have them, otherwise if you try to nibble on the chocolate like it's a regular chocolate the liquor might spill out everywhere.

I think for some residents, they like to share like that; it makes them feel needed and useful, to do something nice for someone else.