Addendum.

A behavioral pattern that I've now noticed among three different sets of (young) (South Asian from South Asia) customers is:

Wanting special dish creations, even if it's very late at night, and even if they have no idea what the menu is or what they're talking about.

Like, with two sets of (young) (South Asian from South Asia) customers who at different times came in pretty late and we tried to get them to order right away, they both stalled in ordering, and then when it was time to order, they wanted something special made up in a way that wasn't listed on the menu, and that was just plausible enough where it might be doable, but it was also just complicated enough where you had to go back to the kitchen to even see if it was possible (something that is "meh" to deal with when it's typical dining hours, very occasionally there's requests like that, but something that just kind of blindsides you as a request that a customer might make when you've already let them know that it's getting late, it's just such loopy behavior).

And, slicing that set of customers a different way, too, two others also didn't know the menu at all, they were first time customers, and yet within this very voluminous restaurant menu, they somehow ended up wanting something special made up in very involved ways that just didn't make sense.

Like, for one, from a full 6-7 options for fried rice, they honed in on 1 of the 2 fried rices that *only* come with multiple meats, and they wanted to know if the sauce was vegetarian, so they could have a vegetarian version of this dish that is pretty much only really noteworthy for being the one fried rice that comes with multiple meats.

And, for another, once during normal dining hours in this big group of (South Asian from South Asia) people, this one guy said he wanted this one vegetarian dish with its listed ingredients, but with the listed sauce of another dish -- and then, when I went back to ask about that, it turns out that both dishes had the same sauce!

One of the things that I've learned in my life is that if you ever meet people from a group like a religious group and their behavior seems illogical, it probably isn't, but rather it has some deeper logic that makes sense within their originating ideological system, and it's only weird to you because you're just not getting that context.

And, as far as I can tell, the only reason someone would make a request like switching one sauce with another when they don't know the menu at all and the sauces are in fact identical is that it's not in fact about the sauce; it's about their ability to make that demand, and to have others hop when they say "jump!".

Part of me thinks that's also behind why these hyper-special orders are prone to come in late at night, or super last-minute orders are made right when the kitchen is closing, or why they order something after they've been told it's too late -- yes, there's probably something there with the underlying desire, but my intuition is that they *like* being the people who make other people stand around and serve them, by keeping a place open just for them, or by keeping the kitchen open just for them, or by bending or breaking the rules and having something done just for them like having that order made for them after that one type of food station was supposed to be closed.

Some of this might be youth out late and flexing muscles or newness to culture where they haven't been checked and taught yet, but fundamentally it's just very class-based behavior, and then on top of that, the very boorish and un-self-aware people who are probably most prone to engage in this type of behavior, are also probably the ones most prone to not pick up on the tipping practices of another culture (or at least they choose not to know, in the behavioral interpretation of several of my [Thai] coworkers).

I really do think it gets into deep stuff like my (Thai) coworkers have been saying for a while now, that all of this stuff from this portion of (South Asian from South Asia) customers is like this refraction of the historic (Indian) caste system.

Two problem (South Asian) customers.

So, mid-winter this past winter, two (grad student-age) (casually-dressed but well-dressed) (South Asian) customers came in at like 9:12pm to the one (Thai) restaurant where I work now, and I was just getting ready to clean the bathrooms, and so I hustled over to the table and let them know that if they wanted curry, we needed their order for curry right then, and the (shrimpy) (darker-skinned) guy with glasses is like, "Oh no, we only want fried rice," as his (lighter-skinned) (blank-eyed) (nicely-coiffed) girl looks up at me, blankly, and that's cool, so I go to clean the bathroom and do whatever, because there's plenty of time for them to order and eat fried rice, but not something like curry, it's already getting a little late for curry.

And, they dally a bit -- again, no big deal, they're just ordering fried rice -- and it's like almost 9:20pm, and I see out of the corner of my eye that my one (Chinese from China) coworker is going back into the kitchen about something, and then he goes back to the table, and then he places the order, and then they call him over, and then he goes to place another order, and it's getting to be like 9:22pm or 9:23pm or so, if not a few minutes later.

And, as it turns out, the (blank-eyed) woman had decided that she wanted curry, and she put the order in very late, as the last thing she did, like a full 15 minutes after I had asked if they had wanted curry, and they had said no, and even a number of minutes after they had placed their full and long-intended order of fried rice.

And, like right around then, they call my (Chinese from China) coworker over again, and he brings them a couple of beers.

And, shortly after that, I stop by and ask them if they will be wanting a dessert order, since "the kitchen is closing soon and we are closing that station," and they each say no.

Then, a few minutes later, when their water is getting a bit low, I bring some over, and I (nicely) apologize for badgering them as customers, but "it's getting late," and really, we are open, but we recommend that if people want a typical full meal experience, that they come in and place their orders by around 9pm, except on Sundays, when it's 8pm, because we close an hour earlier.

And, they nod, and the guy says "Thank you," pleasantly enough.

And, when their food comes out -- we hustle their two fried rices over -- they just pick at it and lollygag around and eat very slowly, and at one point she pulls out her phone and props it up and they watch a video together, and at another point he pulls out his phone and makes some call on speakerphone some, pausing every once in a while to take a bite, as they poke at their three entrees for two people -- we hustled that curry out as soon as we could, too! -- and it's getting late, and it's like almost 9:45pm and we're going to close the doors as soon as the last take-out order is picked up, and so I print out the bill, bring it to the table, and set it there, and I say very apologetically that the bill is ready and we need to close it up so we can close out the register, since it's the end of the night.

And, the guy nods, and they just continue to eat slowly, and he never makes any move towards his credit card, though at some point he does talk with my one (Chinese from China) coworker.

And, at some point right around then, my one (chubby) (Thai) coworker goes over, and she comes back and says they don't want boxes, and then she goes over a few minutes later and talks to them again, and finally he goes to pay the bill, and he gives her cash, being like, "Keep the change," as he hands her $62 for a bill that's like just over $61.

"He tipped us ninety cents," she was like, as she comes back to the back counter to cash out the bill.

And, the neon sign was already off and the ambient music was already off, and it was like right around then that the final take-out order person came and paid up, and we were five or ten minutes past the point where the kitchen was closed and the staff was coming out of the kitchen and gathering at the back before leaving and these two people were the only table left, so, I calmed myself, and I went over there, and I was like, "Hi, I'm very sorry, but the restaurant is now closed. Would you two like take-out boxes?".

 And, the guy was like, "Oh no, can we have five more minutes?".

And, I was like, "I'm very sorry, but the restaurant is now closed. Would you two like take-out boxes?"

And, the guy was like, "This is our first time here and we are enjoying the food, can we have five more minutes?"

And, I was like, firmly, "I'm sorry, sir, but the entire staff is waiting on your table. We told you multiple times in multiple ways throughout the night that it is getting late. We told you that you needed to order curry right away, and somehow a curry order got placed later. We also told you that we needed your dessert order because it was late, and that you need to come earlier in the night for a typical full meal experience. The restaurant is now closed. Would you like take-out boxes?".

And, they looked at each other and said no, and they got up to go and I walked back to where we were all gathered, and we could see them chug their beers before they left.

And, I was talking with my coworkers, and I learned two more things about their visit from my one (Chinese from China) coworker.

First, after they had said that they only wanted fried rice and had spent like ten to twelve minutes looking at the 6 or 7 fried rice options, they had asked him if they could take the rice with 3 meats in it and make it vegetarian.

(Like, what the fuck -- you've never been to this restaurant before and you don't know any of the items, and you've already been effectively told that it's late, and yet you try to get a special dish ordered up that makes no sense, combining some sauce with other stuff in a way that would not even have clear pricing on the menu, and where you're not even sure if the sauce is vegetarian, and you need that to get checked?)

Second, at some point someone must have told them that the kitchen closes at 9:45pm, because at 9:44pm or 9:45pm they called him over to put in a to-go order for more fried rice (he said no, it was too late).

"It is a cultural thing," my one (Chinese from China) coworker said, when we talked afterwards, and he explained that some restaurants in China are so desperate for money and the people who run the restaurant live right there, so they will stay open for anyone and take any late orders like that, just to make a little more money.

"Probably," I was like, "But what do you do with people when you explicitly tell them something about the way the restaurant operates here like we need curry orders now, and they explicitly say that they understand, and then ten minutes later they turn around and do something different from what they had explicitly said that they they had understood, just ten minutes before?"

And, I didn't say that then, but I should have, "Because something like that is truly fucked behavior."

Later that night, I was texting a(n Indian-American) friend about this, and he said his hunch was that it was a class and cultural thing as well, and then he asked if it ever manifested in like first generation people born here (no, it does not -- sometimes they are sh*tty tippers maybe because all they've ever seen is their parent tipping, presumably, but the only people who want us to hold the entire restaurant open for them are [younger] [South Asian from South Asia] people, any [South Asian-American] college students who come in late at night get the signals and menu restrictions and try to work with them).

I think my new strategy in the future is to be even more hyper-explicit about this stuff in the future, with this type of late customer -- that is, I'll be like, "You still have some time to order and eat, but there have been misunderstandings in the past, and if you want a long and leisurely meal, it's already too late for that..."

I mean, I had already been incorporating in my spiel with this type of late customer that it's too late for a long and leisurely meal and some stuff like curry has to be ordered right away, etc., but, even then, I may have been a little too polite and indirect about it, in a way that perhaps did not get picked up on (especially if the customers are used to class dynamics where they can just do whatever they want and other people are forced to just eat it up and tolerate it)...  Like, I think a way that I could be even more explicit is to flag the potential for misunderstandings, and say that they have occurred in the past, when I give that type of spiel.

That way, even if the customers say they understand but then still want to keep the restaurant open, you can apologize and say that there must have been a misunderstanding again, which is why we tell people that misunderstandings can occur at this time of night, etc. etc. etc.

An early summer visit with my parents, from last year:

1) At one point we are talking, and in a pause during the conversation, my father looks at my hands, and says that they are exactly like my grandfather's.

2) In our traveling, we go to this one regional brewery that is known for good beer but is also reputed to give you a special kind of the shits, and when I wake up in the morning after that, I immediately have to take just the biggest dump ever, and it turns out to be pretty huge and very dark and kind of diarrhea-like with lumps of flaky chunk piles that alternate with pure liquid, and all of it has this overpowering kind of smell that's like exactly like fermenting grain, and then when I go to crawl back into my hotel bed, I see that I must have sharted during the night, for there's like this small strip of hardened blackish-brown shit that is on the sheets where my ass crack seems to have been at some point when I was lying on my back, and then as I'm looking at that in amazement, something catches my eye and I look over, and like two-and-a-half feet over to the side, there's like a faint ghost version of that same shit mark from where I must have rolled over and lied on my back again, after my main shart and most of the shit coming out and sticking to the sheets the first time that I had done that, when I was lying a few feet over from where I was then.

Solstice ~ the day before Christmas Eve ~ New Year's Eve:

1) This year on Solstice, I read poetry in the morning, and did my best to avoid my phone and email all day long. 

When I worked the lunch shift at the one (Thai) restaurant where I work now, I drew a little Santa Claus head on a receipt, next to one speech balloon that said "HO HO HO" and another one that said "JO JO JO," and then I'd ask my (Guatemalan) coworkers if they wanted to see the gringo Santa, and I'd fold the paper so that the speech balloon saying "HO HO HO" was coming out of his mouth, and then I'd ask them if they wanted to see the Latino Santa, and then I'd fold the paper so that the speech balloon saying "JO JO JO" was coming out of his mouth.

The one (Guatemalan) coworker who we started the diablo joke about was also working that day, too, so I'd remind him that he had be nice if he wanted presents for Christmas, emphatically alternating to him at various points that day two different statements: "Si hay problemas, no hay regalos" ("If there are problems, there are no presents"), and "Si no hay problemas, hay regalos" ("If there are no problems, there are presents").

2) At the one (Thai) restaurant where we work now, our annual party on the day before Christmas Eve featured bingo, and we had like three tables full of all types of food, more than enough for everyone, and with all the leftovers sent home.

In fact, the (male) owner said that not everyone liked the seafood like the crab legs and the lobster he got, and so that's why he got some other stuff, too, like some catering from a nearby Mexican restaurant, with a big metal tray of spicy-rubbed chicken wings and rice and beans and sauteed onions and peppers.

When we were leaving, too, there was a lot of the chicken left over, so I took it home and ended up eating it all little by little for like ten days straight, saving the skin and bones and joint-cartilage in containers in my freezer, to make broth with later, to boil that along with vegetable scraps that I always save from my cooking in my kitchen.

"Merry Christmas!", everyone said to each other as we all left, to which I would always be like, "No, it is not a Merry Christmas; Luigi is in prison," just like all through the night whenever we were having a good time with glasses of wine and bingo and everything and everyone was just losing themselves in the jubilation, I'd turn to someone and be like, "You know that Luigi is in solitary confinement right now," and then when they'd protest, I'd simply say that that's a fact, and I was merely observing.

3) On New Year's Eve, I stopped by the local public library to see what was up with a book that I had returned earlier that week but hadn't been checked in yet -- they were short-staffed and returns were high and so it probably would just need a few more days to get checked in, they said (they were right) -- and then I went to work dinner shift at the one (Thai) restaurant where I work now.

With my (newer) (Guatemalan) coworkers who weren't around last year, I would ask them "Como se dice 'Happy New Year' in espanol?" ('How do you say 'Happy New Year' in Spanish?"), and they'd tell me, and then I'd pretend to have trouble saying the word "year" in (Spanish), just saying the word "anus" instead, and they'd try to correct me repeatedly, until they realized that I knew what I was doing and I was just saying "anus" to mess with them.

Business was on the higher side, too, but there were still some slower spots, and so we did this special kind of word search thing that I had brought in in a puzzle magazine behind the counter, and some customers sitting near there heard us and even asked us what we were doing since the (husband) of the (middle-aged) (white) couple likes doing puzzles -- his family did a crossword together last Christmas!, the (wife) said -- which resulted in them helping us with the puzzle, a little bit -- I brought it over table-side to them -- and also, at the end of the night, my one (chubby) (Thai) coworker insisted that we had to order a shift meal with woonsen noodle, since it's a (Chinese) (Thai) tradition that you eat something long and thin on New Year's, so you have a long life, and, so we did.

A resurfacing of a person once known.

On New Year's Day this year, me and my one (chubby) (Thai) coworker and my one (older) (Thai) coworker who's a whiz at the phones met at a local bar to play a boardgame together that we all wanted to play, since if we didn't do it then when the restaurant was closed, we would never be able to, since otherwise one of us was always working, and we'd never be able to be off, all three of us at the same time so we could all play a boardgame together.

And, the one local brewery that would have been the best venue was closed -- it's quiet and with nice lighting -- and so I asked ahead of time at the one local bar with musical acts if it was cool if we met to play a boardgame in there in a booth since everything else would be closed that day, and the one (taller) (bearded) (hairy-chested) (tattooed) (white) bartender said it was cool, people play cards in there all the time, and then when we met again there that day in the late afternoon, I checked again, and the bartender on shift at that time said it was fine, and we all got drinks and coffee and sat down to play the boardgame in a booth at the far edge of the bar.

Only, after like forty minutes, the opening act that's usually an acoustic singer-songwriter turned out to be this jazz trio, and -- and I've never seen this before! -- the entire bar got all perfectly quiet whenever the music started, like we were all at some mega-serious upscale jazz bar, instead of a raucous bar with constant musical acts.

Like, it was just a bad time to be chatting and playing a boardgame, although no-one had ever clued us in that there was a chance that we might be encountering something like that.

And, when the head of the jazz trio was introducing a song -- he was this (old) (white) man, with glasses and wrinkles, who was talking in a highly complimentary but also mildly "I'm up here and they're down there" way about how good these two (young) musicians were who were on stage with him -- he paused after his commentary, and I look up, and he's getting ready to play, but he's just shooting us this incredibly direct and mean glare that just reeks of disdain, since he's waiting for us to stop talking so he can begin playing his (quiet) number, and the way we're sitting, only I can see it and my (Thai) coworkers have their backs to him and so they can't see it, and it's just this very nasty glance from an old man, since we're interfering with what he's doing and especially from all the attention being on him, it's more about that than about anything with the music, although he would say it's about the music, I'm sure.

And, later, I'm taking a piss in the bathroom and looking up at the monthly music calendar above the urinal, and what do I see, but I see his name, and it's a music performance professor whose daughter I used to tutor like a decade-and-a-half ago in the city that I used to live in, and who I met once or twice but who I didn't recognize now at all, since he had been relatively affable when I had met him, but now he was old, and I had encountered him and a deep-seated nasty side of him in a space where he was accustomed to reign imperiously.

So, I didn't say anything to my (Thai) coworkers, although the next time that I worked with my one (chubby) (Thai) coworker, I mentioned to her that I had a secret to tell her, and I told her the secret of how I knew the old man on-stage, although he didn't recognize me and I chose not to say hello to him and unveil who I was.

"Why say hi?", she was like. "That is fifteen years ago, that is a long time."

. . .

(I wonder if he was always like this and I just wasn't in a situation to see that side of him, or if his character changed. I've noticed that a lot of the people I know in tenured jobs have acquired progressively worse character over the years, so maybe that happened with him, too.)

Birthday.

My birthday this year was very low-key, and I ended up working on it at the one (Thai) restaurant where I work now, as I did last year and as I often have done in years past, at various other places that I have worked.

My one (newer) (taller) (Thai) coworker asked me if I had gotten any gifts, and I said no, and I added that I usually never do, since my birthday is so close to Christmas, and then she asked me if I wanted any gifts.

"No," I was like, "I don't want any gifts; I only want freedom for Luigi."

Later, too, there was some order mix-up where a box of crab rangoons didn't get packed with a delivery order, and then the customer accepted a credit for a free crab rangoons another time rather than have someone make a whole second delivery trip just for a single box of crab rangoons right then,

So -- and I don't know how this was decided -- somehow the crab rangoons got funneled to my one (newer) (taller) (Thai) coworker, who ate most of them right away.

But, she did offer me one.

"Want a crab rangoon?', she was like.

"Yes," I was like, "But not as much as I want freedom for Luigi."

Later, too, everyone at the restaurant brought out a cake, and I could order anything off the menu for my shift meal, though when I went to order prig khing, it turns out that we were running low on greenbeans, so I couldn't have it, although that was the only special thing that I wanted.

Declining speakerphone manners.

It's really something how people have just started speaking on speakerphone anywhere, at any time and anywhere. It's like socialization and social permission for this behavior has just exploded, in ways that were possible for years and years since everyone got smartphones, but it hasn't just happened until now, like, for some reason, it's just one of those things that some people started doing and then other people started doing it too, and then it just took off from there.

Like, I was kind of surprised twice over, on the last trip that I took to the city that I used to live in.

In the breakfast area of the place that I've been staying at and where I've never seen it before, suddenly there was a (young) (French) guy who had his speakerphone propped up as he Facetimed someone and ate his morning cereal, and then there was this (eccentric) (older) (tattooed) (bald) guy who was lingering over coffee after he had had his breakfast, just talking out very loud to his speakerphone about some very personal things with a close friend, including some homosexual experience that someone's husband had (?).

On my last day in town, too, I was on the subway to go meet a (scholarly) friend for lunch and project advice, and there was this (middle-aged) (Latino) man with his phone out Facetiming people in (Spanish) as the noise of children spilled out of his phone and filled the car, and then there was a (well-dressed) (hipster-ish) (black) guy sitting next to me who pulled out his phone and put it on speaker to deal with being late for some meeting, and then on my subway ride back from meeting my one (scholarly) friend, another (Latino) guy pulled out his phone to do speaker, and then, when I was on the train home that night, the guy sitting next to me did it, too, briefly.

I mean, it's like everywhere, it all just exploded.

Facetiming seems a bit prominent in this type of behavior, too...  That makes me wonder if some of this has to do with how people connected via Zoom during the pandemic, and brought some of that behavior forward, where video feeds have now replaced many phonecalls.

It might also have to do with that 5G shit that everyone talks about, where maybe processing times have increased and technologically enabled smooth Facetiming, whereas it wasn't a possibility on your smartphone, before?