Mango f*ck-up.

The other week, I went to go get my one mango and eat it since it had been sitting out for a while on the top of the fridge where I keep my fruit and it had stalled out being like only half red, and then I open it up, and it's kind of brown and vaguely rotten throughout most of it. And, at that point I notice a sticker on it saying that it's "ripe when green," and that it should be custardy inside. I really had no idea that there were mangos like that (the sticker also said that this particular mango came from Peru). It kind of sucks, since I have another one just like it sitting up on top of my fridge... I'm assuming, too, that the color goes green to red and not the other way around, so it's not like it's worth waiting any longer to see what happens to it.

Addendum.

It's interesting, too, how my finances are back to where they were like fifteen years ago.

When I first moved to the city, the rents were so affordable, and it was a relief to be able to live simply by myself and to have all of this spare money so I could go out and go out to movies and even save up for an international trip every few years and whatnot.

And then, the economic crisis happened, and though I held onto my apartment and my habits, I couldn't really do the vacations anymore, but I put up with the grind since it seemed like a decent job with higher pay was always right around the corner, until it wasn't and it was clear that it really wouldn't be, unless I made some bad choices and got into some areas that I really, really hated, and wouldn't be worth it at all.

I remember, too, that when I first moved to the city, I'd have these empty days where I could be lazy and go do stuff and even sometimes it seemed like I had too much time and I'd be a bit bored, and I'm back to that state of mind, again.

Like, the other day I woke up and lazed around with a magazine and got caffeinated, and then I used my one language app in order to study that one (modern) language that I've been studying in order to maybe get dual citizenship while some beans cooked on the stove, and then before I packed up to walk over to the local library, I decided to have a bowl of the freshly cooked beans, so I just stood and ate that and looked out the window, as every once in a while I tried to remember some new vocabulary items from my one (modern) language lesson that I had just done, but mostly I just stood there and looked out the window.

And, the beginning of my day had been so long and full, and it was still only like the early afternoon.

It's really like time here just stretches out before you; it's wonderful.

Looking back on craziness.

Just a few weeks ago, I was thinking back to what my life would be like if I had stayed in the city, how I would still have these grueling commutes where I'd be riding my bicycle across windblown parking lots and four lane highway offramps in order to park it inside the far end of the subway stop, since my last one had gotten vandalized twice this past summer and I couldn't leave it outside anymore at the stop closer to my house, and how I'd still have to be leaving early for my job since public transportation frequency had gone to heck, and how I'd have a decent number of wasted hours every week from that mess, and how I'd be put on edge through almost half of my commutes, by being around severely mentally ill people engaging in agitated behavior, which puts you on guard and also transfers some of that chaotic energy onto you, and other stuff beyond all that as well.

It really seems like a different world, and I can't believe I put up with it as long as I did, though I guess it was like "the frog boiling," where bit by bit stuff changed and I just kind of went along with it, until it ended up at an intolerable point.

When I was chitchatting with my parents around the time of that realization, I mentioned it to them, and my mother was like, "Yeah, and the longer you're away from it, the even crazier it's going to seem to you."

Bartender comment (3 of 3): Former job.

Also also when I was back at the brewery, the one young bartender girl was talking about how customers could be super weird back when she used to work in videogame chainstore retail.

"But I didn't have it as bad as my boss," she was like.  "She was Japanese, hot, and worked at GameStop."

She also said that there was one guy who used to come in right before close and browse but never buy anything, and they all called him "White Trash Samurai," and that there was this other guy who when she was changing over jobs, she mentioned that she was starting to be a bartender, and he showed up at the exact time that she started on her first day and then he was just there walking around the room without coming up to buy anything, and her manager pulled her aside and was like, "What the f*ck is this?", and then her manager had her go stay in the back while she went out to go talk to the guy, and then when she came out he was gone, and he's never come back again.

Bartender comment (2 of 3): A different town.

When I was back at the brewery, the one (young) (broad-faced) (white) girl also was chit-chatting with another patron about how people from different towns and from different states can look down at other places, and how back when she was taking sign language, on the first day when her instructor was having people do introductions and this one guy introduced himself as being from a wealthier suburb in the metropolitan area of the state's largest city, the instructor was like, 'Ohhhhh....," and then in front of everyone she signed the first letter of the town's name and the word "snobby."

The bartender girl also said that that guy seemed nice but could be weird.

"One time I told him we should go get some Panda," she was like, "And then he never talked to me again."

She also said that he left really bad tips, even though he was using his dad's credit card.

. . . 

("Panda" is "Panda Express," that's what everyone calls it here, and everyone seems to love it.)

Bartender comment (1 of 3): Neighboring town.

So, after the omicron wave subsided, I went back to the local brewery to have a couple beers if it was empty and to study for my upcoming healthcare licensing exam, and the one bartender that I knew was there, the (young) (broad-faced) (white) girl, only this time she wasn't wearing a flannel shirt and a knit cap, but rather a Goth-ish black shirt and super super short black blue jean booty shorts that exposed just feet upon feet of her (skinny) (pale) thighs.

We chit-chatted about what was new, and I said that I was going to be going to a neighboring town that I've heard has high crime levels to take my state licensing exam, and I was going to be staying downtown and maybe seeing a historic site and walking around and trying out a restaurant or something, and that I was wondering how safe that would be.

"I"m sure it's fine," she was like, "But I don't really know. I used to date someone from there, but we mostly hung out in the woods."

An opinion of a healthcare licensing class classmate...

...when I said that I was going to get a hotel the night before in a neighboring town where we have to go to take our state exam, since that would make it easier to be up early, and plus I could see the town and maybe try out a restaurant or something:

"We got everything that they do there."

. . .

(This was said by my one [cool] [taller] [big-boned] [very dark black] classmate.)