My one hippie friend from Michigan's got a lover.

So my one hippie friend from Michigan has been hooking up with a manager from a local restaurant for over a month now.

The other day, she came to campus to give me a check with some $ I loaned her, and she walked me up to the building of the one class I'm TAing, both to chit-chat since we hadn't seen each other in a while, and also so she could go downstairs and use the restroom there since she really needed to pee.

At the building as I was heading up the stairs, she was going down the stairs to go use the restroom in the basement level, and we still kept talking a bit, and finally, right before I had to go, she was like, "Honestly, this is the best cock I've been getting in my life, but how do I tell a middle-aged black man from Mississippi that America is by no means a 'bootstrap nation'?".

Then, as I turned to go upstairs, I see a freshman in my class who had just come in, and I had to wonder how much of what my friend said he overheard.

Then, I had to wonder, if he *did* overhear it, what does that make him think about who I am.

Anyhow, me and my one hippie friend from Michigan actually ended up hanging out that night too, and she told me that she and the restaurant manager got really drunk and had a threesome, and though she doesn't remember this, he told her the next day that as he had her bent over and was f*cking her up the ass from behind and she was eating pussy, she kept saying, "I taste life! I taste creation!" over and over again in between eating pussy.

She laughed as she told me what she had been saying.

Bonding with Spanish speakers.

Two times ago when I was heading out of town for a trip, I hopped the bus near my house to get a ride up to the subway w/my luggage.

For whatever reason, the driver drove fast and laid on the horn and blazed through yellow lights and got us to the station in record time.

A(n older) (Mexican) woman who had made room for me to sit down with my luggage seemed bemused by the driver's driving, and she and another woman she was with made eyes at each other as the driver laid on the horn right before we got to the station.

"Wow," I said to the (older) (Mexican) woman right after the driver laid on the horn that last time.  "Que aggressivo" ("How aggressive").

And then, when she nodded in agreement, I raised one eyebrow mischievously and said dramatically, "Me gusta" ("I like it"), and at that she and the other woman laughed.

Two great texts...

After I confirmed to my one hippie friend from Michigan that I'd pick up whiskey and ginger ale before heading to her apartment, she texted back a text beginning, "Groovy tooties."

Also, the other day I noticed that my roommate had 3 (!) jars of pickles in the fridge, and since she lets me use pickle juice for soups, I put the pickles from 2 jars into one single one, told her about that when she came home from work, and then texted her the next day -

Thanks again for letting me consolidate your pickles last night, if you know what I mean.  ;)

- to which she replied -

:D Oh anytime...  Lol.

. . .

A truly memorably shit.

I took a normal shit before breakfast, then as I was lingering over coffee, I felt shit start to urge out my anus, to the point where it must have been almost easing out and I had to leap off and hustle to the toilet.

I sat down, and right away it was like a giant water gush, and after that one giant bowel movement - and truly it was a dump, it was like my entire intestines just dumped down at once! - I looked down and it was like thick consistency yellowish-tan baby food across the surface of the entire toilet bowl, just floating on the water, probably at least a half inch deep, by my estimation.

Making a woman laugh at the bank.

The other day I had some minor stuff to take care of at the local banking branch near the university campus, and the (black) woman who greets customers when they walk in ended up helping me.

She looked familiar - she said I looked familiar too - and so we ended up reintroducing ourselves.

Then, as she helped me with some stuff on my account, I kept helping myself to Halloween candy from this little bowl in front of me.

"I hope you don't mind how much candy I'm eating," I was like.

"No, that's what it's there for," she was like.

"Cool," I was like, "And plus you're probably like, 'Get that away from me!'".

Then, she was like, "He said, I say, 'Get that away from me!'," and at that she laughed.

Then, I told her how a long time ago I was talking with a friend-of-a-friend who was working as a frycook, and he put on ten pounds through "tot dipping", where he'd pop a few tater tots in his mouth with every order he plated, and next thing he knew, he gained ten pounds.

At that, she just cracked up.  "He said, 'Tot dipping'!", she was like.

After she got done helping me, we tried to remember how we knew each other, and we both agreed it must have been from her helping me with something at the bank before.

"Did you have a questionable charge?", she was like.

I didn't, so she ended up looking me up in the system, and it turns out that I had had her get my checks mailed to that branch for me, since my mail was undependable and I didn't want them getting stolen.

City terrors: Raids on busses.

The other day in the university library I ran into this one (middle-aged) (neighborhood) (black) woman I know who frequents the library for its fast internet connection, since she can do that since has a degree from the university.

"Hey sugar," she called out when she saw me (she always calls me "sugar" and gives me a hug whenever she sees me), and then she called me over, since we had caught sight of each other across the first floor foyer from quite some ways away.

Then, when I got up to her, straightaway without any formalities she was like, "Remember to be careful on the bus," and she told me about how she and her friend the other day like 8pm on a weekday got off the subway and had just missed a bus, then on the next bus they ended up passing the first bus, and it was pulled over with police cars all around it.

She said gangs of kids have been invading busses and stealing from passengers; someone stops the bus to get on as a passenger, then a big group enters through the back door and they walk through the aisles demanding stuff from people.

At first it was iPhones, but now it's wallets, and on that one bus she was almost on, they ended up beating up some little (white) university student and giving him a black eye, though he never went to the emergency room.

"Damn," I was like.  "That's insane.  I bet it's the bad economy, people are getting desperate since things have been so bad for so long."

"I know," she was like, "That's what I think too."

Snakes and Dreams of Snakes.

The other day when it was dusk I went to unlock my bike from a pipe in front of my house, and this garter snake slid out from behind the pipe and skirted the front of the house before it disappeared down some concrete steps and into some leaves blown up against them.

Several days later, I dreamt I was walking along a sidewalk, and two times I came across and scared a big garter snake that was just sitting out on it.