Self-absorbed white women are the bane of my existence.

I realized today when I was studying at a coffee shop that self-absorbed white women are the bane of my existence, when this older white woman in black with a subduedly colorful scarf talked for 45min. to two acolytes about some past drama that she still remembered in detail and found absorbing, and since she had no sense of her own volume, I could hear her way over at my table, even though her head was in the other direction.

Plus, she kept talking in italics --

"So then..."

"He said..."

"But that isn't the way that we did it..."

I find it interesting that though some of these women are older and some younger, a good half of them are Jewish, and they seem uncomfortable, esp. the younger ones, and are prone to straining to make jokes. The younger Jewish ones tend to be on the fat side, too, and have ecletic wardrobes and big dangly earrings.

In fact, the last one I ran into was this fat, eclectically-dressed, dangly-earringed girl undergrad originally from New York who had yet for some reason transferred here from some worse school in New York, but kept talking about how much she liked New York better, and about how her parents were worried she wouldn't go into school in the first place, since she had taken time off to go to circus school and had gone around the world managing circuses.

(Hipsters are so predictable - circuses, freaks, burlesque performers - that's all they're interested in, and romanticize.)

The other young ones are bleached blonde barbies who talk too loud on cell phones, like one who was next to me on the elliptical at the gym last night. I turned and asked her to take her phone call elsewhere, and she didn't even look at me, she just held up her hand.

It was funny, when I went to write my comment card asking about the cell phone policy and if it could be posted, I started writing, "I hit a rude girl with a cell phone today," using the colloquial meaning of "hit" like "run into someone I don't know" (as in my mom might say if my dad asked her about her day at the library, and she'd be like, "You wouldn't believe it honey, I hit some real assholes today"), but I realized that sounded like I was violent, so I scratched out the start of the sentence and was like, "A rude person next to me talked on her cellphone loudly for a long time."

My friend got hooked on Mormon blogs.

The other night I had a drink with a friend from school who was an undergrad and is now working post-graduation at the library. He's been bummed lately, but at one point he started out of nowhere about how when he was home in upstate New York during break at his parents' house, he came upon a Mormon blog, and since that one had like "blogs we read" links to like 50-60 other Mormon blogs, he kept reading and reading and reading these Mormon blogs, and when his parents were up at 6am the next day, they found him there still in front of the computer.

He said all of the blogs by were like early 20s couples, and they all had a ton of picture of kids with blonde hair and blue eyes.

He also said that on the day of the movie premiere of Twilight a lot of the Mormon women went to go see it, but as huge fans they were disappointed that the main male love interest is all and dark and pale and skinny, since they wanted him blonde and ruddy.

"You know Twilight, right?", my friend asked. "He's a vampire, but he doesn't want to fuck her."

He also said that the day after the election, there were a ton of posts about how worried they were about the fate of the country, and on the one blog where someone was positive and said that Obama was full of goodwill and might be able to effect good change, there was like a 100 comments from friends where the people piled on the woman and asked her what she was talking about.

"What group pressure there is in the Mormon community," my friend was like.

I told him he should read Deborah Laake's "Secret Ceremonies: A Mormon Woman's Intimate Diary of Marriage and Beyond", and added that it was one of my two favorite books ever and is available on Amazon for $0.01, shipping not included, but he said that he's not that much into memoirs, and would rather read the classic Joseph Smith bio I recommended, which was written when the Mormon author woman worked library nightshifts on campus while her husband got his English lit ph.d.

Mardi Gras in Mobile documentary reaction.

Last week I went to see with a friend a documentary about the segregated Mardi Gras in Mobile, Alabama -- an excellent movie everyone should see.

Anyhow, when we got off the bus, I saw this elderly black gentleman who I had seen at the theater get off at our stop, so I said hello and asked him what he thought of the movie.

"Well," he was like, "I'm originally from New Orleans and I always wanted to go see Mobile's Mardi Gras, so this was my chance.

"Besides that, the movie had one flaw. They showed the white trains [of the Mardi Gras queens] and how ornate they were, and we all know the black trains weren't as elaborate, but they never showed them, and I wanted to see the difference for myself."

Went to the coffee shop today.

I went to the coffee shop today where I've been working lately in the late mornings and early afternoons. Two young black guys I know were working today, and somehow they were talking about vegetarianism when I walked in. I asked if they knew the black Jew vegetarian restaurant, and the one was like, "Yeah, they serve you some tofu with barbecue sauce on it, and it tastes like tofu with barbecue sauce on it, and you're like, 'What the hell is this?'", and the other was then like, "Vegans drive me nuts, you can't eat shit, and then they get all holy about it."

I then told them about Michelle Obama's mother and how she's like "If you want to have fried chicken, have fried chicken", and both of them lit up at that and the second on was like, "Exactly."

Later, when I went to get my regular pastry, it was out, but there was some similar looking stuff that looked like a pastry roll with apricot jam inside, and when I asked the first guy what it was, he was like, "I don't know, but if you get it, tell me." When I did buy it, there turned out be walnuts in it, and he was like, "I'm glad I found that out!", and the second guy was like, "I just tell people all this shit was made in a factory where nuts are processed, so I don't be bothered with it."

Poodle / documentary.

On Sunday when I was grabbing coffee up in the yuppie part of town, I saw this missing dog poster for a poodle, where someone's poodle was taken from outside a CVS where they had leashed it up. "PLEASE RETURN OUR DOG SOON SHE HAS A RARE DISEASE AND WILL DIE IN ONE WEEK WITHOUT HER MEDICATIONS $500 REWARD" the poster said, or something like that.

Anyhow, what I can't figure out is if the people are bullshitting or not -- on the one hand, maybe they're trying to fake out the dog thief since what good will stealing an expensive dog to have or sell will do you when it's going to die soon anyhow, but on the other hand, yuppies are the exact type of people who will put a dog with a rare disease on expensive medication, since that's the exact kind of thing that a yuppie would do.

On another note, I've been thinking more and more about that one ALIVE documentary. I really want to go, but I know I'll faint, which makes me kind of full of myself, since I feel like if the subject matter is so gross and disturbing, there's something wrong with other people, not me, since how can people stand to watch something like that and not faint?

Blood and mirror.

I opened my freezer this morning to get a couple of slices of bread to toast, and I noticed blood specks on the ice there, back from when I cut my finger a while back. It's going to be there till I defrost the fridge, I think.

Also, after I cleaned my apartment thoroughly this week, including wiping down the windows and mirrors with newspapers and vinegar, I was trying to figure out how my mirrors get dirty again so quickly, since it's not like I have that many pimples to pop and it's not like every pimple gushes shit out on the mirror.

Anyhow, I was thinking this and flossing, and all of a sudden as I pulled out the floss from between some teeth, specks of shit flew out onto the clean mirror, and now I know.

Mustard seed parable as a challenge to fundamentalist faith.

I was reading a book yesterday and it said that the parable of the mustard seed was a challenge to this one notable fundamentalist prof's faith:

He put another parable before them, saying, "The kingdom of heaven is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his field. It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches." (Mt 13:31-32)

Botanically, the mustard seed really isn't the smallest seed on earth, so the guy was troubled that Jesus didn't have perfectly accurate botanical knowledge. He finally was comforted, though, because he realized that Jesus was talking about all the seeds you'd sow in a garden, and not actually about all the seeds on earth.