My one lawyer friend from Missouri was telling me about the security guard who runs the metal detector at the front of her building, this bigger (black) woman in her late 30s with heavy eye makeup and a cone of hair angling off to the left side of her head.
On my friend's birthday, she was going into work, and the security guard asked her how she was doing.
"Just okay," she was like. "It's my birthday today, and I don't like the thought of another birthday."
"Listen, girl," the guard was like, "You shouldn't complain. A lot of my friends from back in the neighborhood would love to have another birthday, but they can't have one, because they're dead."
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