3 bars (3 of 3): Sportsbar.

The last bar I went to was a sportsbar down the street, that had a big front glass garagedoor instead of windows.

I had a beer at the back to kill time before my friend came to meet me there and we'd head out somewhere else, and I could help stare at this enormously fat (white) girl with a t-shirt that said:

WOMEN WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED, BECAUSE NO MAN HAS A VIBRATING CHOCOLATE PENIS THAT EJACULATES MONEY.

And more than that, she was talking with a guy who had this t-shirt...! -

I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS?

The girl caught me reading her t-shirt again, and she cracked up and struck up a conversation with me, and pointed out that everyone in their group was wearing tacky t-shirts - it was a tacky t-shirt birthday party! She said the birthday girl had one last year, and it was so much fun, everyone keeps their eyes out for mega-tacky t-shirts all year long now.

She then introduced me to the birthday girl, who had a shirt that said -

IF YOUR DICK WAS AS BIG AS YOUR MOUTH, THEN I'D GIVE YOU A CHANCE.

. . .