From
Tineke Ferwerda’s “Sister Philothea: Relationships between Women and Roman
Catholic Priests” (1989; translated 1993) (p. 136):
At that
time [in boarding school] the brother on watch would come round to my room
regularly in the evening, bring a sweet or some cake for me, sit on my bed and
begin to stroke me all over, in a particular order: my face, my neck, my back
and chest and finally between my legs.
Finally the order got shorter and in the end he fumbled especially in my
crotch. He did this very lovingly and
gently. He kissed me. He always put his breviary behind my head on
my pillow.
He
whispered in a heavy Brabant accent. It
was about temptations to unchastity and had to do with my penis. It had become clear to me that if this became
erect it was a temptation to unchastity.
But how could that be with this holy brother, for I found that his
gentle fumbling in my underwear, in which he touched my penis in a very
effective way, gave particular pleausre [sic], making my member stiff and
erect, and that was precisely what was wrong, that was precisely the sin of
unchastity. I didn’t want it, but found
it great; it was wrong, but the brother himself did it... It was very strange and schizophrenic.
Fortunately
I wasn’t too oppressed by it and at home only said that this dear brother was
friendly and very loving towards me.
Father made a very nice drawing for him.
I was happy to be able to give this nice picture of his patron saint to
this brother, but found it strange that by day he didn’t seem to acknowledge me
and didn’t even thank me for the nice work of art that my father had made for
him. It also seemed as if he was afraid
of me. I was tossed to and fro between
guilt feelings about and not having been unchaste.
. . .
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