Visit Home (III of III): Marge.

I saw my godmother Marge recently, too. In her house she had all her Christmas bullshit out, stuffed snowmen and pine garlands and santa dolls and the like, but up on her main wall in the living room was this wreath made of dyed red ostrich feathers, with a red bow on it.

"That's out of place," my mom was like.

"Honey, look at that," Marge was like, "That's the real Margie there."

"It looks like a hooker wreath," I was like, and then Marge said she got it at a Lord's and Taylor like two years ago, and it's her favorite Christmas decoration.

After I had said later that I was sorry that she never made it out to see Tina Turner with me, she said that she's sorry she didn't go, but she saw three shows in December, the Rockettes and "White Christmas" and Madonna.

"How was Madonna?", I was like.

"Oh, that was a scene," Marge was like. "There were men running around in wedding dresses and everything," and then added that one of her friends pointed out a guy in a "MALE WHORE" shirt and was like, "Come on, Margie, we have to get you one of those!"

"So what did you think of Madonna, though?", I was like.

"I've always thought she was a slut," my mom was like, interrupting.

"She is!", Marge said, making a disgusted face, "And she's all into that kebob, I don't know what's up with that woman."

Later, Marge was also saying that she and some of her friends went to San Francisco on Halloween, and it was a sight. She said that when they were going through some neighborhood, they ran into a protest to outlaw cars in favor of scooters, and that there was this guy in a shirt cut down the middle and pants cut down the middle, with his ass hanging out of his pants.

She also said they took the bus at one point and walked to open seats at the back, which was a mistake since this guy in the back started talking to them a bit, and then lit up a joint. Her friend flipped out, and then the guy flipped out, and then they got in this huge argument till like ten minutes later they finally got everyone calmed down.

"So," Marge was like, to calm the waters, "What do you do?"

"I'm in distribution," the guy said.

Right before we left, Marge asked me how my program was going, and I told her how I was studying for generals exams and had like four lists of like sixty books to read through before being tested on them.

"Like holy books?", Marge was like. "It's still religious shit, right?"