A few months ago the one (gay) (Colombian) (STEM) grad student who I know from around town had his dissertation defense, and his family came to visit him for it, to see it.
And, his mom had visited him here before, but not his father, and it ended up being this whole thing for his father, where he saw this giant campus all at once and then this professorial gathering where his son had to speak on his work, and it just made this gigantic impression on him, and like during the entire dissertation defense he was crying, to the point where my friend tried not even to look towards that part of the room, it was so distracting.
“In my entire life, I never thought that I would have a son who did something like this,” he said that his dad told him, and after that his family went on without him to go visit his aunt and her family in Texas, and his uncle told him that his dad just could not shut up about his dissertation defense when he was there, it was like he would just go on and on and on and there was nothing else that he would talk about, just only that.
And, he also said that after that, his father started relating to him differently.
Like, he was looking for things to do with his parents, and they don’t like museums, but they like to eat, so when he took them to see some monuments in a fairly nearby big city, he made sure to take them out for ribs afterwards, and he somehow got into a fight with his parents because they each wanted to order a whole thing of ribs and he said that that was too much food for them, and somehow it became this whole big thing and they all started arguing and everyone got mad at him.
And, because he later got ashamed at the fight, he went and apologized and he said that he hoped that he didn’t ruin everything – “You did,” his mom was like – “She’s not a person who comforts,” he said – but, his dad on the other hand was relating to him like an adult, and he’s always been known to have a temper, and he said something about how sometimes you get mad and you get carried away, and it was okay, and he was just relating to him like an adult, now.
“So did they eat all of the ribs?”, I was like.
“Yes,” he was like.
“Wow,” I was like. “Then what were you arguing with them for? Maybe you did ruin it.”
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