A local homeless man…

...the other week at the one (Thai) restaurant where I work now:

As I go to lock up the patio furniture, a (middle-aged) (black) homeless guy with a prominent bald spot is sitting on a ledge of the next storefront over, and he’s sitting there still but also moving funny and tottering a bit, and while I’m out there he slumps off the ledge and lands on the concrete, where he tries to push himself up and his arms and legs are all sticking out like a crab’s and he’s heaving himself up trying to get his body off the pavement, but he can’t, and his arms and legs give under, and he just lies there, until he rolls over on one side and opens his zipper and takes out his dick andd starts peeing right there, the urine hitting the sidewalk beside him and following the slight incline downwards in parallel to how his body is lying.

I then go inside and call the police and inform them of the situation but specify that they shouldn’t send police, but like a social worker or something – “We don’t have that,” the person on 911 responds, when I mention it a second time – and then after I hang up, our one (dramatic) (white) (female) (townie) delivery driver says that she has seen that guy sitting out there all night, and finally when the cops come, one comes into the restaurant afterwards for some food, and he says that the guy is from the adjoining sister city and was super drunk, and there was no way he could have made it home that night, so it was good that we called, because now they’re taking him to a hospital where he can sleep it off.

When I go outside later, too, there’s like two plastic flasks of whiskey on the ground, but oddly no real visible urine marks, although the weather is on the cold side and there was no way it could have dried up that fast.