Unsure about Going for Academic Careers.

You know, between that awful waste of time at the art school and how long it's been taking to get my doctorate, and also the incredible amount of stress and time it takes to get tenure or even to a tenure-track job, none of which is a given, I'm not even sure how seriously I'll pursue an academic career once I graduate.

I once had thought more seriously about it and have lined myself up pretty nicely with credentials, but dissertation completion is still a ways away and I just feel burnt out sometimes, and can't stand the thought of a crazy long application process, and I don't particularly even want to leave the city.

I don't particularly put myself through more periods of economic instability, either; I want a regular, predictable paycheck, and someplace that I'm decently respected.

It really is silly to expect people without any money from somewhere else in their life to pursue a chance at this career.

It really grates me how lottery-like chances at dissertation completion fellowships or the like numbs the consciences of tenured professors because they can be like, "Be sure to apply for that," and then if nothing pops they did their duty, in their opinion, and if someone falls out during the process, that somehow reflects on them and their stick-to-it-tiveness.

And what do they have to offer at the end of this?  A chance to work with people like them?

Eff that.

I like researching and writing, but I don't need a professorship for that, and teaching can be nice, but it's not the be-all and end-all.

I wish that I hadn't sunk so much time into credentialling, with these couple half-finished academic articles prepped to finish post-diss. and a dissertation that's set to be a good academic book but may not necessarily be worth turning into one, depending on what direction I go in.

The doctorate has been good to develop thinking, but as my plans have changed, a lot of things that I've done for the sake of professionalization would have been better spent on other projects.

I almost feel like a demographic casualty of the academy, b/c someone with my economic profile needs luck nowadays in order to make it, the instability so militates against their success.

Really, it's kind of sad for them, and shameful, that someone as dedicated as I am can't make it.