The other week I was out after the symphony barhopping, and stopped through a bland but interestingly random bar on the south side of downtown that my one (modern Czech literature) professor friend used to go to.
Midway through my beer, this young drunk macho (Mexican-American) townie sits down next to me, and then next thing I know he's touching me just a little too much and a little too often on the upper arm and we get to talking.
Though he's currently a franchise manager (and pulls in $70,000 a year!!!!), he used to be the events coordinator of the big flagship Disney Store in the city, and one of his duties was to coordinate appearances by the teen celebrities from all the different series.
"Like who?", I was like.
He mentioned a few names, ending with Mitchel Musso, at which I shook my head since I had never really heard of him, at which he gave a slight tip-of-the-head mug and was like, "He never really made it beyond Disney circles."
Then, he was like, "Oh yeah, Miley Cyrus."
As it turns out, Miley Cyrus came to the city's Disney Store during the 1st season of Hannah Montana , and the event was very slow, so he had to go out on the sidewalk and try to pull people in from the street.
Then, to save face as a Disney celebrity, they made the excuse that she "had to go catch a flight" and they cut the event an hour or so short.
"That was the first year of the show," he was like. "Next season, she hit it big, and people were always coming in off the street asking if we had Hannah Montana this or Hannah Montana that, and I'd have to tell them, 'No, we only carry goods with animated characters', I'd have to tell someone that every fucking day."
Later that night of the day he met Miley, he went out with her and her dad for a deep-dish pizza.
"Really nice people," he was like.
"I heard her dad didn't want her to go into show business," I was like.
"That's what he says," the macho (Mexican-American) townie was like, "But it's all about...", and at that he knowingly rubbed his fingertips together in the 'money' motion.
He also said that when he worked in "the industry" he got to work with Raven Symone.
"Isn't she a lesbian?", I was like.
"Yeah," he was like. "But not then."
He also mentioned that sometimes at lunch he used to over to a local trashy clubby-on-Friday-nights yuppie/bro dive bar, where he knew this "crazy as all hell" manager.
"He'd be like, 'Wanna bump?', and then he'd pull someone he didn't even know away from the bar and then we'd go in back and do some coke off her ass."
"And this was at noon?", I was like.
"Noon, maybe one," he was like.
We talked some more after that and I offered to buy him a drink, but he had to get going since he worked in the morning.
He made me take down his number, though.
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