Disturbing comment of a freshman.

I requested a meeting about professional behavior with one of my freshmen writing students at the university I attend.

Overall, I try to be explicit with incoming students about professional expectations (e.g. on deadlines, emails, interactions with professors and TAs and staff), and then if they do something really really whack with me, I ask for a 20 minute meeting to hear their perspective, then share mine, and then talk about how their behavior might be counterproductive for them long-term and lead to a failed class, refusal by a professor for recommendations, or whatever.

Anyhow, this one (shrimpy) (white) (moneyed?) (marginal sport athlete) guy from the East Coast was overly familiar in address in first organizational emails to me, though that stopped after I handed out an email etiquette handout and asked students to follow the suggested protocols.

Then, came requests for exceptions.

First, to honor if possible his practice time (only exemptions I told the students about are final events like performances or athletic events).

Reasonable.  Students have asked that before, and I've tried to honor their requests (though I don't advertise that I do this; I figure if it matters that much, they'll ask).

Second, to switch the 2nd meeting time if possible since his dad was in town for business and wanted to take him out to dinner, and his dad hadn't been able to come in for Parents Weekend.

Kind of reasonable, especially for a first-term freshman.  I'd do the same for anyone, so I let him switch.

Third, after not checking email for a few days over the weekend, I find like 4 emails from him on Monday about how he has to go to this internship interview he just found out about and has talked with tons of people and has gotten people to agree to switch, and then on top of that there's an email from one of those persons confirming the switch.

Very, very whack.

So, I wrote very nicely stating that this seemed like an informal event and not exception-level, and so I asked for a company name and a phone number where I could call to confirm the event.

He wrote back apologetically, and at that point I requested the 20 min. meeting, and asked him to revisit the email professionalism handout, print out all his emails, and mark where he did and did not follow etiquette so we could start having a conversation on that basis.

At the meeting, he was very apologetic and had realized (mostly) how he fucked up, then at one point toward the end he explained that the interview was informal over dinner but the same businessman had given an internship to a friend of his after a meeting like that and so he really really thought it was important to attend.

And then he added, that his parents insisted that if he didn't get an internship soon, they wouldn't buy him spring break tickets to come back home.

He said that, too, as just another fact in his life.

"No shit," I was like, I couldn't help myself, I was so shocked.