Animal control.

My couple friends who live in Milwaukee bought a house last year, and when I was asking them how it was going, they talked about how they returned on a late Sunday afternoon from a long weekend away and discovered a full-sized hawk inside their screened-in porch.

They couldn't figure out how it got there, except maybe through a hole in the screen that was just big enough for it to get through, if it saw it and flew in perfectly.

Anyhow, they weren't sure what to do, so my one friend called up animal control, and the woman on the phone was like, "Have you tried letting it out?", and then when my one friend said she hadn't, she said she could call the local humane society as well.

She tried calling them, and everyone was gone, so she called back animal control and got the same woman on the phone.

That woman was like, "Wait a minute, I need to talk with some people," and then disappeared off the phone for a couple minutes.

Then, she came back, and was like, "Hello, you there? Everyone here just says to let it out."