Because his flight was cancelled, we ended up going out to the martini lounge, and he brought his (female) friend who lives on the subway line going out to the airport, who he was staying with.
I got to the martini lounge a bit early, though, only to discover that the Swinger couple I know were sitting at the bar with friends, and when I went up to say hi, the Swinger Lady immediately hopped off her seat and hugged me and was like, “Oh, it is so great to see you here!” and introduced me to all her friends, saying “Isn’t he so cute? I love him!” after introducing me to each one.
Then, when I sat down next to them, she was asking me how the after-party for the famous sex advice columnist was that I had gone to the other week.
(He had been in town for a lecture and I had seen in the free city newspaper that there was an after-party where he’d be making an appearance at a local club that night, so I texted a shitload of friends and my one friend with the cat said she’d go, which she did, and she brought along a letter of hers he’d published years ago to get signed by him, but another friend who I’d texted invited me to stop through a movie night earlier that same evening put on by people related to the sex documentary series... It was at the apartment of the one guy who had worked for a nationwide sex magazine and was now starting a website that was like Facebook for kinky people, and the Swingers had been there, and some other people, including the BDSM activist who was the original organizer of the series, who’s back in town and working on developing scripts for role-playing games, and some friends of the host, who when I’d talk to them and be like, “So how do you know him?”, they would hem and haw and say things like “Through work” or “Through friends”, which I took to mean through massive orgies... One was this done-up, slightly fat but not unattractive Chinese girl with a really tough accent to understand, and she was telling me and the museum coordinator of the sex documentary series about how sex is all repressed in China, not like in the U.S., so Chinese guys want it just as much as American men but are sneaky about getting it, but here a guy will walk up to you and say, “I like your tits,” which she found liberating.)
So, I told her that the famous sex advice columnist had signed a print-out of a letter that had been sent in by my friend years ago, and he was very gracious and had signed it “Nice to meet you in person,” but otherwise the crowd wasn’t as cool as we had expected, it was just the club’s typical crowd.
“What was the letter on?”, the Swinger Lady was like.
“How women should shave and take care of their pussies if they want cunninlingus, and how guys should have to learn how to pleasure a woman by careful experimentation, since a woman can’t tell them how to do it better, usually, unless she’s experimented with women herselves.”
“Oh!”, the Swinger Lady was like, “That was a whole famous series of letters! I really respected him for starting that discussion up, he started it by saying he was gay and had to turn to his readers for advice on how to eat pussy.”
Then, she added that the best thing she ever learned was to douche yourself with a combo of half mineral water and half hydrogen peroxide 2 hours before you expect to get eaten out, and we talked a while about whether that was healthy, and she said her partner’s brother is a doctor and said it’s fine.
And, since she and her partner with there with 3 friends and we were wrapped around the corner of a bar, we were rather far away from each other, and had to shout out that entire conversation.
After it ended and there was a slight pause, her older (gay) friend turned to me and was like, “So what do you do?”
“Oh,” I was like, “I’m a Ph.D. student down at [---] and I’m studying [---]”
“No,” he was like, “I meant for before sex.”
Right around that time, my one Dutch friend’s other Dutch friend, who is now also my friend, and his friend he was staying with, showed up, and they joined the group and we all drank a few martinis and talked...
Later, when the Swinger Lady was pretty hammered, she was shouting to me down the bar how she hoped that the sex documentary series would screen a film on bestiality, since it turned her on.
I mentioned the infamous Linda Lovelace short film, and she got all serious and inward-focused and turned on, and was like, “Oh, I’ve seen that,” and then she snapped out of it a little and, still looking a bit aroused, was like, “You know, a lot of people’s first sexual experience is with animals. Mine was at the age of 12, when a dog licked my pussy. I didn’t know what it exactly was at the time, except that I liked it.”
After that conversation faded out, we talked more, and I guess my friend talked with her some about Dante for some reason, and when the Swinger Lady and her partner and her friends went to leave, she got up and came over to give all of us hugs, and she whispered in his ear that it was great talking to him and that when he had said that Dante was dark and sexy, that she agreed, and hearing him say that had turned her on.
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I had to use hydrogen peroxide to clean out my ear. It seems to have worked.
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