Testicle buddies.

My one friend from high school's husband since college has had cyst (sp.?) on his left nut that got so big that until like a month ago she thought her husband had a 3rd ball...

His doctors said it was backed-up, hardened sperm, but not to worry unless it was uncomfortable, and like a month ago, it started getting uncomfortable, so he went in for surgery like 2 or 3 weeks ago to get it off, and that laid him up all Labor Day weekend to sit at home and recover, since walking would inflame his scrotum and make it painfully swell up.

"You guys are ball buddies," my friend was like when she was telling me about it. "[First name of my friend's husband] just says he had 'personal surgery', but once he heard about your parasite, he said it was okay to tell you."

Then, she was like, "You guys are ball buddies!", and suggested that we chest-butt every time we see each other.

When we stopped by her house - I spent half a day hanging out there before she drove me to the train station - her husband was on the couch watching tv, and while we talked, he would lay there with one hand down his pants holding this big bulge of an icepack on his crotch while he looked at me and carried on a normal conversation.

"Sorry," I was like, "This is too weird, I'm going to go talk to your wife now," I was like, and left, which both of them thought was funny.

"You know," my friend was like, "That is kind of weird that he has a hand down his pants while he's talking to you."