Talking about fat people.

This past weekend me and my parents went to a Christmas concert put on by the local chamber orchestra and its youth counterpart, with an a-cappella interlude by a group of women all in black with snow flake wraps around their shoulders. My mom was like, "Look at the conductor, she has hers cut longer in back so it covers her ass." I was like, "No!", and my mom was like, "What, she's a smart woman, I would do that too if I had stand and show my ass to the audience for a half hour."

Later, when the orchestra came on stage, one of the violins was this absolutely gigantic woman who was incredibly round and was wearing black pants and a white blouse, so I nudged my mom and was like, "Look she came dressed as a snowball." My mom laughed so hard she cried, and when she finally stopped she told me that she had just been thinking the same thing.

A little after that, my dad asked about why did one violin walk on and play a note and then everyone played after her, and I was like, "Everyone tunes to her, she's the first chair," and my dad was like, "No," and then was like -- and remember, this violin was also pretty fat, though not as fat as Snowball -- "She's at least the first two chairs."