BDSM friend was back in town.

My one (straight) friend who’s into BDSM was back in town the other weekend for a conference that his new job in the Bay Area sent him to.

On the Sunday evening of that weekend, he gathered whoever was around to catch up around drinks at a craft cocktail place, and people floated in and out the entire evening, and then finally left there at the cocktail place were me, him, and this 3^rd guy, who is quite short and has some major physical disabilities that result in slow and halting movements and speech.

“You know,” my one (straight) friend who's into BDSM was like, “The thing about San Francisco is that everyone’s poly, and women will want you to be their secondary, but they’ve already got a primary.  And I wonder, where do these women come from, since they must have been looking for a primary at some point?  Why can't I catch them at that part of their lives!”

“BUT, YOU SAID, THE SAME THING, WHEN YOU LIVED HERE,” the disabled guy was like.

The conversation then shifted more towards BDSM, and the disabled guy tangentially brought up that he liked pain and humiliation, likely from the rejection he suffered in high school from hot girls b/c of his disabilities, and although he now used those life experiences in play, BDSM had also left him with “mental scars”.

The hostess of the sex doc series has also gotten more and more out of BDSM, it seems.

She had been in a sporting accident and had to go through a lot of physical therapy, and now it’s just too mentally painful for her to think of her body in the same way as she used to, as a plaything.

“It’s almost like you can’t play with something you’re living,” my one (straight) friend who's into BDSM was like.  “It’s like it’s too close to home, and you can put that in a box and maybe pull it out later and play with it when that time of your life is past, but certainly not then, when you're going through it.”