Very Rewarding Bar Night (3 of 5): 5 Places Downtown.

As for the 4th stop of the night, this garden-level bar (basement, but with windows high up on the walls) that’s very fratty on Fri. and Sat. nights (beer pong, pool tables), everything turned out to be chill on a Sunday, so I sat at the bar and read Balzac. 

After my beer, I popped into the restroom to piss – and it turned out that the mirror on the wall outside the restroom was a one-way mirror positioned right above a pissing trough, so as you pissed into the trough and touching your junk you could observe everyone out in the bar.

Right as I was finishing pissing, one of a group of (early 30s) (aging) (white) bros broke off from a group at a table near the restroom door to piss, and as he came in his friends, who must have been there before, were pointing at the window and laughing as he sidled up at the trough and started to pull out his dick.

He started laughing at them laughing, and I was like, “What the fuck’s up with this mirror?”.

“No idea, bud,” he was like, laughing some more at them laughing.

I then washed my hands and stepped outside, and as I went past the group, I said, “What the fuck’s up with your friend?  He was trying to start something and was like, ‘Quick quick, before my friends come.’”

I then waited a beat and was like, “Just kidding,” and they laughed, a few nervously, and one of them said something I didn't catch in a vaguely southern accent, and I left.

Outside the door, a (fat) (white) waitress and a (middle-aged) (hipster) doorman were smoking together, and I asked them what the fuck was up with the restroom mirrors.

“It’s so you can watch what’s happening in the bar,” the waitress said.  “There’s one in the women’s room, too.”

“Why?  So you can look at someone you like and rub a quick one out into the trough?”, I was like, and at that the woman started laughing.

“Or,” I was like, “You’re like, ‘Here bud,’ and you can jerk each other but stop and tuck it if you see anyone coming?”, and as I motioned reaching over to jerk off a fellow urinal user they both laughed.

“It’s been that way since the 70s”, the woman was like.

“A lot of shit went down in the 70s,” I was like.  “You know [a late-night club that I sometimes go to]?" - at that both nodded - "One time I was leaving there and an older black dude asked me if I wanted coke, and when I said no, he said we should walk and find a park or an alley or something, and he’d let me snort some off his nine-inch dick.  Maybe that’s why the mirror is there, so people could snort coke off each other’s dicks back in the 70s.”

“That’s my new explanation for people!”, the waitress was like as she laughed again, and as she rubbed out her cigarette into the brick wall to go back inside, I left.