Breast cancer.

So my mom found out last month from a mammogram that she had a small tumor in her breast, and got it removed, and then signed up for a precautionary mastectomy at her doctor’s advice.

When she talked to my godmother Marge, she was like, “Well, at least I can go walk at the fairgrounds every year.”

(For some cancer walk or something, she meant).

“Oh honey,” Marge was like, “I’d be there if I were you, and I’d be walking lopsided!”.

(Marge has big tits.)

Marge’s daughter is getting married, and during that same conversation, Marge mentioned that her daughter got the last Vera Wang gown of this style she wanted, and it fit perfectly and needed no alterations and only cost $300 instead of a thousand dollars.

“Oh honey,” Marge was like, “I couldn’t sign that check fast enough.”