The
other week I was talking with my one neighbor in my apartment building who
always sits outside and stoops during the summer, and he was saying he always
wanted to try out this Greek festival at a local orthodox church.
So,
since the next day was his day off and I could meet him for a late lunch, we
met up there a little after 2pm, and paid like $10 each for a homemade dinner –
him, a hunk of roast pig, and me, 2 sticks of pork souvlaki, each with rice and
chunks of cucumber, tomato, and feta cheese.
I wolfed
mine down, and since he couldn’t finish his, I picked fatty pig meat off the
joint bone and then ate his remaining rice and salad as well.
Later
that day I was meeting my one hippy friend from Michigan for a beach day, so I
suntanned and did word puzzles till she got off of work, then hung out with her
and talked till finally I got so hot, I had to jump in the lake, which was
megacold.
After
getting in and then right back out, I started to feel a bit of a queasy feeling
in my stomach, as I made my way back to where she was sitting. I tried to ignore it at first, but then I
realized that I really, really had to go to the bathroom, so I took off at a
quick pace to this beautiful nearby park building where weddings go on, but
there’s also public bathrooms at one side.
I ran
the last 5 yards, ducked into the bathroom past some wedding guests, ran into a
stall, and as soon as my ass touched the toilet seat I let go and just shit
this huge liquidy brown load, which was thick and juicy and undifferentiated
and sat even with the toiletwater surface in this big glob in the middle of the
toilet bowl, all while a couple groomsmen were taking a piss at the nearby
urinal.
There is no way they could not have heard that gush of ass liquid hitting the toiletwater.
I think it was the fatty souvlaki and pigmeat from earlier in the day, then the cold water giving me a shock to my system.
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