1) The other night I was walking home from the gym past the fire station and an engine pulled out, sirens blaring, and as it turned onto the street, a pike flew off the back of the truck somewhere and landed on the street. The metal blade part was pointed towards the tires of oncoming cars, so when there was a clearing, I went out and pulled it aside into the gutter, though not before a couple cars had run over it and broke the wooden shaft in half.
2a) Another other night I ran into my one English friend at the gym. I was saying that I couldn't believe it was the 1st of June already, and he whacked me on the shoulder and was like, "A pinch and a punch for the 1st of the month!", and when I was confused, he said that that was what all English schoolchildren say to each other, and that you're supposed to respond, "I'll poke you in the eye, for being so sly."
2b) Last Saturday at the student-faculty softball game the student spectators started singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game", and the one Australian student in my cohort turned to me and asked me what the song was.
3) I got invited to the swingers's summer barbecue. The e-vite they sent out specified no outdoor nudity.
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