1) The instructor is this (rounder) (pleasant) (white) guy from Wisconsin who drives a Tesla and who says he goes to church, and who shares trivia like about how an egg won't set at the top of Mount Everest, and how once he got to buy 10 pounds of truffles for $2300 with a P-card at this one place where he worked. His wife, he says, is really good at backing in a camper, and you would be surprised at how many Amish people have cellphones. He also follows this industry website that "doesn't cover all of the outbreaks or the recalls, just the interesting ones," and here and there during the training he refers to certain stories he heard from there, "but you wouldn't have heard about it, because it's not in the mainstream media."
2) People there have neck tattoos and gear with American flags, and this one (older) (fatter) (white) (apparently gay) chain restaurant manager behind me has slicked back hair and this massive smoker's cough but only occasionally properly coughs into the crook of his arm, and one girl says she was an anthropologist who lived in Africa and there got malaria and typhoid fever, and then when asked, she specifies Ethiopia, and then when asked why she lived there for 7 years, she simply says, "Love."
3) Once someone was working at a fast food restaurant and people started complaining about a smell near the soda fountain, and then when they went and looked, they discovered that a homeless person had smeared shit all over the soda nozzles.
One girl who worked at McDonald's once had a guy throw his own shit at her -- it happened so fast that she's not sure how he launched it, it was like a car crash, she says, though she thinks he held it on a towel -- while another time when she was working the drive-through, a guy handed her a warm cup of his own piss.
"That has to be some kind of fetish," I was like, "The piss and they guy who threw his poop. They were making you be part of it."
Then, when she didn't quite know what to say, I was like, "Men are like that."
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