Right after I got my new laptop - to be honest it's more like a notebook with an attached keyboard, one of my friends who's into computers said - I was behind on the news, so one night I was going to head to a local bar with wi-fi to catch up on stories after I got out of work with my one assisted living client with disabilities.
And, oddly enough, around the time I had to clock out, I had to go take a shit, which was weird for me, since I'm usually just a morning and "before bedtime" shitter.
So, I clocked out, and asked her if I could use her bathroom, which of course I could.
"And if there's ever any questions about hours," I was like, "You should realize that I didn't try to shit on the clock and get another ten minutes in."
(She laughed at that.)
After I took my shit, too, I pointed out how I would now look thinner and hotter right as I was going to go to the local bar.
"Bonus!", she was like, raising her hands in the air in that one "raise the roof" motion.
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