The other month after a stadium concert in the 'burbs, me and a friend were waiting in the Uber line, and we had talked with this (white) (middle-aged wife and older husband) couple from Michigan's Upper Peninsula, and we had all agreed to split a ride back downtown, so we were all waiting there, amidst this line of people all waiting for Ubers and taxis and whatnot, so they could get back to wherever they were going.
Right before our ride got there, this (young) (blonde) (white) guy was chit-chatting to the U.P. wife, as she was sitting by the curb.
He seemed really drunk, and she kept laughing.
Once we were in the Uber, she started talking about how drunk that guy was.
"That woman there was his mom," she was like, "And he kept being like, 'This is my mom, she's seventy-one but has nice tits, she should use them to get us a ride. Mom, open up and let 'em fly!'".
She also said that the other woman was his fiancée.
"Poor thing," she was like. "They've been engaged four years. He says, 'I believe in engagement, I don't believe in marriage, I get sex that way!'".
The U.P. wife thought he was the funniest thing in the world.
"Where's he from?", I was like.
"Canada," she said.
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