Milwaukee drinking.

So, the other night me and my one 40-year old Canadian roommate from the Latin program went out drinking.

We had done trivia night 1st with some other people from our program (we had thought that we would clean up, but we came in like 4th), and then he asked me if I wanted to go to this place that sold baby deepdish pizzas that me and another person from my program had been telling me about since we had wandered in there like a week earlier when hammered and got this great pizza, and another beer, so, I went again.

At the 1st bar, though, somehow we had started talking about puns and witticisms, and he was saying that they have this one guy on the job named Bruce, and they always tell him, "There's no I in TEAM, but there's a lot of Us in 'Shut the fuck up, Bruce.'"

He also was saying that there's one guy on the job named Blue who's a cameraman, and everyone calls him "Blue the Cameraman", and one time someone was talking about another coworker named Amber and was like, "And then Amber came, and Blue the Cameraman."

He also was telling everyone about one time he decided to make popcorn and put some salt and honey on it, and it was really good but he had to eat it with chopsticks.

Anyhow, at the bar/pizzaplace we pulled up some stools next to 2 hispanic-looking women, one of whom was older and fatter and the other who was younger and had really short shorts on and these tattoos of butterflies down beside her eyes, and we started talking to them about and somehow we got on the subject of Benadryl.

"Ooh, Benadryl fucks you up," said the young one, with a thick Puerto Rican accent, and started telling us how she gave some to her kid once and he was like high or drunk or whatever for two hours. "Like he drank this pitcher and 2 more," she said, tapping the pitcher.

I started telling them then how I was on pain meds a little a few months ago and the one made you really high but you couldn't sleep, and the older fat Puerto Rican women (they were from Puerto Rico) started telling me that that did that, but she liked Oxycontin, that that had no side effects at all.

"Oxycontin, Norco, [a couple other names of drugs]," she was like, "Anything you want, I got," she said, tapping her purse.

Then, somehow we started talking about Puerto Rico and how much everyone talks on cell phones, and the younger one was like, "They come out of you and they are already talking on a cell!"

At some point, too, this Bacardi commercial came on, and my Canadian roommate told me that he filmed the last shot of this ball floating in the ocean, but none of the other footage they shot got used, the rest of it was shot somewhere in Cyprus, with sand imported from England.

Some time after that, the Puerto Rican women left, and left us their pitcher of beer, which was 3/5 full, since they hadn't realized you got so much beer when you ordered the beer-pizza special.

Shortly after that, my roommate left too, so I stuck around with the pitcher to talk to the bartenders, who told me stories about how much people in Milwaukee drink.

The bartender, this mid-30s white guy who's worked on and off at the place for like 8 years, says recently that parents have tried to drink and party with their kids to bond with them, and that this couple from California kept buying round after round after round for themselves and their kid and their kid's friends, and it was like $200 of Jaeger Bombs alone.

"The dad was outside holding a lampost in one hand a Solo cup in the other and throwing up," the guy was like. "You see that a lot."

He also said that they had 50 incidents of indoor vomiting this last senior week, and also this one mom from California who was obviously a trophy wife with new tits and wanting to try them out who started making out with her daughter's friend, in front of her daughter.

"Her daughter was all crying and embarrassed," the guy was like. "I can get that."

"And," he was like, "To tell you the truth, she was a lot hotter than her daughter," and he proceeded to tell me how her daughter was one of those sorority girls that would be cute, but she's a little bit too fat.

After, the waitress started telling me about how this past week she had to throw 2 drunk girls out who were trying to pick a fight with some rugby team members...

After that, I was talking with this young (white) navy guy who was in town and who was originally from Michigan, and we talked about how the economy is shit, and he started saying how Detroit was a great city and would be again.

Later, these local (black) guys came in, and when there was something about the World Cup and the Netherlands, I started telling them how I was hoping the Dutch would lose, because of the shit they just go off and say about immigrants/minorities in their country, and after I told them a couple anecdotes from my visit, the one was like, "That is just out of order."

When I was leaving, the waitress also started telling me something about the annoying 19 year olds that come in, and she kicks them out just because of their attitude. "They think they are such hot shit because they now have their first fake ID," she was like.