Movie and social hour updates.

Here's the scoop on the sex doc movie nights and social hours that I passed over while writing my swingers's bbq series -

1) One was on feminist pornography, followed by an independent porn film about an older couple where it was 40 minutes of them talking about their relationship and sex life, and then them fucking for like 20 minutes (edited together, of course, for maximum variety of positions).

I thought it was nice b/c the people took care of themselves but didn't have porn star bodies, and said this during discussion group how it was a happy medium for porn that wouldn't cause people to have body-image problems by watching it, and the discussion leader, herself a local feminist porn producer, said that they had had people tell them to use more normal people in their films, and then when they had as an actress a woman in decent shape who had just given birth a month or two earlier, people started asking them why they didn't have better people in their films.

2) During the one social hour, the older guy who used to be a thug in an Italian neighborhood but then became a sexologist started telling this story about how group sex used to work back on the workshop circuit back in the 70s - 1st was the workshop, then a nude massage following the workshop for whoever wanted to go, then at some point word would get around and everyone would decamp to someone's house offsite to have group sex. He then started telling me about how they used to go to this one house on the northside that was a big apartment that had been combined from two smaller ones, and people used to hang out in the central room and then go have sex in the bedrooms, but that was the beginning of the evening, and towards the end people would be having kinky sex in the bedrooms and then "be in piles everywhere" in the main room.

"And you know, it was there that for the first time I ever had an experience with BDSM," he was like, and he started telling me about how this woman in the back bedroom asked him to hit her.

"And let me know if I'm repeating myself," he was like, and I nicely told him that he was, though I realized that that was the most endearing thing ever, because old people always repeat themselves about something or another, and with him, it's about the 1st time a woman ever asked him to hit her.

I also think it's funny how old people sometimes have one great idea that they always go back to, which is in his case how everyone should be massaged in the nude by someone when they don't know if it's a man's or woman's hands touching them, which he brings up about once or twice a conversation.

He also said that he hates the homophobia of swingers, and that there's less with people into group sex, and that in any case men should get used to being uncomfortably propositioned and saying no, since women have to do that all the time, and every once in a while you do get hit on by someone good.

3) The last movie night (this past Tuesday) was about a BDSM photographer, and people turned out in droves. I sat in the back with my friend who I went with, so I could go out unobtrusively if I got sick (I had to turn my eyes away at the needles through the woman's nipples, and the razor-cutting scene).

The discussion was marred by the fact that the host was a BDSM guy who asked to start out how many people had participated in BDSM - the UU sex educator and me and some other people were pretty uncomfortable with the question, since that might force people in the audience to self-identify or not, and that was out of bounds.

Other than that, the only interesting part of the night was how this whole rehab house of like 6 people showed up for the movie and like half the discussion and had a lot of wandering comments, including one black dude who said over the course of like 3 or 4 minutes how he once hit his woman since he needed money for drugs and she ended up calling the cops and he ran out the back window, but it wasn't sex, or nothin'.

And, there was this guy who said he went to a BDSM party in Houston that was crazy, with gouging and sanding and everything, and people were doing a lot of coke and heroine to deal with the pain, and he was dropped in the middle of it, and all the BDSM people there looked at him like he was a freak, since BDSM people usually have absolutely no drugs or alcohol at their parties, for safety reasons.

And, too, someone mentioned how BDSM culture overlaps with nerd culture, but she didn't know why, and this one guy who had a short-sleeved shirt on and sandals and black socks and a nasally voice said it was because that kind of sex is intense and you need to know how to build things.