The one resthome resident who's been wanting to die is still alive, and when I got back from having a number of weeks off, I told her that I was actually surprised to still see her here.
(To tell you the truth, I actually kind of was.)
At that, she tightened her lips and grimaced and shook her head slowly, almost as if she would be upset about it but what she thinks about it really doesn't matter and wouldn't affect things anyhow, so she doesn't even bother to get frustrated about it anymore.
Then, she told me in her slow halting voice, that her doctor set up with her an appointment for like two months from now.
"I hope not," she was like.
Saturday, March 9, 2019
Friday, March 8, 2019
Baby zonk-out.
This past week, I got together with my one (half British) (half Sudanese) friend (the sister of the sister-brother pair that I'm in friends with).
Her new baby she just had is like two months old, and I got to meet her for the first time.
My friend said that it was so funny when she was just born, because she'd have some milk, and her entire body would just relax and her head would drop back and it was like she was just completely content with everything in life.
"It's like in the movies when someone takes heroin," my friend was like, and she mimicked someone relaxing after taking her heroin, slacking her body and being like, "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..."
She also said that she was reading up on babies, and that while we go through four stages of sleep where we're drowsy and then half asleep and then we sleep and then we dream, babies at first just go through the last two, so they conk out and you can do anything around them like go and vacuum under their crib and they won't wake up.
Her new baby she just had is like two months old, and I got to meet her for the first time.
My friend said that it was so funny when she was just born, because she'd have some milk, and her entire body would just relax and her head would drop back and it was like she was just completely content with everything in life.
"It's like in the movies when someone takes heroin," my friend was like, and she mimicked someone relaxing after taking her heroin, slacking her body and being like, "Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..."
She also said that she was reading up on babies, and that while we go through four stages of sleep where we're drowsy and then half asleep and then we sleep and then we dream, babies at first just go through the last two, so they conk out and you can do anything around them like go and vacuum under their crib and they won't wake up.
Thursday, March 7, 2019
Campaign reflections (4 of 4): Return.
It was simply wonderful to get back to the rest home.
My first day back, everyone was so happy to see me, and I was so happy to see them.
"We missed you!", one of my (Ethiopian) coworkers was like.
One resident who's a retired musician also said he watched on election night for me, and was paying attention to my name on the TV news ticker tape.
My first day back, everyone was so happy to see me, and I was so happy to see them.
"We missed you!", one of my (Ethiopian) coworkers was like.
One resident who's a retired musician also said he watched on election night for me, and was paying attention to my name on the TV news ticker tape.
Wednesday, March 6, 2019
Campaign reflections (3 of 4): Fragility.
One oddity of my race is that *after* the campaign where I was trounced soundly in terms of percentage, machine people started being very derisive on social media, in a personal way out of all proportion to anything on my end.
My hunch is that they find me threatening somehow, probably because of the information that I got out on my opponent in a major way through the press and through lit; they had a shit-ton of money to turn out votes, but it must have been very, very difficult for them, because people who dislike him now severely dislike him, and people that they could maybe have reached in the past are now just turned off by all politicians, so they realize that their base is demographically dwindling and they can't make inroads elsewhere.
Like a few weeks before the election, a guy told me that my opponent got booed by 5 vets when he came into the local VFW hall to buy everyone a round of drinks.
And, I heard through people that the machine people thought I was a "trouble maker" and "stirring people up."
A couple days after the election, too, me and my one (older) (hispanic) neighbor who's lived in the neighborhood for decades and decades were talking, and it turns out he thinks too that the loss of the machine candidate in the mayoral race was a big psychological blow to them.
"They don't have the power," he was like. "They will always have money, but they are realizing now, they don't have the power."
He also thanked me for the "information" on my one attack flier, which is my hunch is how many, many people in the district processed it, just as facts to know about the incumbent, that are now firmly seeded in the community.
When I mentioned the number of votes they were able to turn out for my opponent in the district, he was amazed.
"That's it?", he was like.
My hunch is that they find me threatening somehow, probably because of the information that I got out on my opponent in a major way through the press and through lit; they had a shit-ton of money to turn out votes, but it must have been very, very difficult for them, because people who dislike him now severely dislike him, and people that they could maybe have reached in the past are now just turned off by all politicians, so they realize that their base is demographically dwindling and they can't make inroads elsewhere.
Like a few weeks before the election, a guy told me that my opponent got booed by 5 vets when he came into the local VFW hall to buy everyone a round of drinks.
And, I heard through people that the machine people thought I was a "trouble maker" and "stirring people up."
A couple days after the election, too, me and my one (older) (hispanic) neighbor who's lived in the neighborhood for decades and decades were talking, and it turns out he thinks too that the loss of the machine candidate in the mayoral race was a big psychological blow to them.
"They don't have the power," he was like. "They will always have money, but they are realizing now, they don't have the power."
He also thanked me for the "information" on my one attack flier, which is my hunch is how many, many people in the district processed it, just as facts to know about the incumbent, that are now firmly seeded in the community.
When I mentioned the number of votes they were able to turn out for my opponent in the district, he was amazed.
"That's it?", he was like.
Tuesday, March 5, 2019
Campaign reflections (2 of 4): Money.
At the end of the day, money turned out not to matter as much as I thought.
Given the effect of up-ballot races, even had I been able to have everything fall into place and hit my fundraising goals, I still wouldn't have been able to fund the robust turnout operation needed to mobilize sympathetic people who were turned off by the negative television advertising that echoed the negative portion of my pitch.
With all the various factors in play, I would have had to have had a "perfect storm" of factors and high turnout and that just didn't come together, and for various reasons, getting the big money behind me wasn't a possibility in this particular cycle.
So, my worries for the past couple months turned out not to even matter at all.
Oh well.
Given the effect of up-ballot races, even had I been able to have everything fall into place and hit my fundraising goals, I still wouldn't have been able to fund the robust turnout operation needed to mobilize sympathetic people who were turned off by the negative television advertising that echoed the negative portion of my pitch.
With all the various factors in play, I would have had to have had a "perfect storm" of factors and high turnout and that just didn't come together, and for various reasons, getting the big money behind me wasn't a possibility in this particular cycle.
So, my worries for the past couple months turned out not to even matter at all.
Oh well.
Monday, March 4, 2019
Campaign reflections (1 of 4): Well-wishing.
It was incredibly touching, all the well-wishing that I got as the election drew closer.
In the lead-up, I got a personal note sent to my campaign email account and left on my campaign phone from random people, and all of these texts on my phone from people from all different phases of my life, and then random people I'd meet on the street would remember me and wish me well, or say that they had read up on me and researched my positions and were excited to vote for me.
It was beautiful, to see the love and appreciation. I found it quite touching.
In the lead-up, I got a personal note sent to my campaign email account and left on my campaign phone from random people, and all of these texts on my phone from people from all different phases of my life, and then random people I'd meet on the street would remember me and wish me well, or say that they had read up on me and researched my positions and were excited to vote for me.
It was beautiful, to see the love and appreciation. I found it quite touching.
Sunday, March 3, 2019
A story of a corner of my district (2 of 2): Gas station attendant.
Later that same day, I was out for longer and I needed to piss and to warm up, so I ducked into a gas station and I bought a coffee.
But, it turned out that they didn't have a public restroom, so if I needed to go, I could just go around back and piss on the wall, the (young) (heavy) (Mexican-American) gas station attendant was like.
And, it was fine if I stood there and sipped the coffee and warmed up.
But, after a few minutes and we were chit-chatting some more, he was like, "Wait, I think here's an extra key," and he gave me a key.
The restroom was broken down and barren, and there was a huge chunk of light greenish-brown shit in the toilet that I pissed into, though it didn't really break apart.
And, the mirror had no frame and was cracked a bit at the edge, and one of the faucets didn't work.
After I got out and I returned the key to him and I thanked him, I started talking about the homeless community around there a little bit.
He said he thought he knew the couple that had been out in the open fucking on the concrete this summer, when I mentioned to him what the other woman had said to me.
He said that that's actually why they closed off the bathroom, sometimes people would pass out in there for two hours.
He also said that he heard something was going around and a few people had died, and his manager told him not to take any money with blood on it.
"Like an STD or something?", I was like.
"Yeah, I think," he was like.
He also also said that sometimes people get mad, like one guy who just got out of his car and started pissing on the front door.
Also, one time another person came in there and after trying to get a lighter for free he started talking some shit about a woman outside pumping gas and how he had seen her and her boyfriend fucking in the backseat of their car, and the boyfriend was in there and he overheard that and he started to fight him, where the boyfriend took the guy's head and slammed it into the coffee dispenser and then into the door that led into the glassed-off service space and then the door popped open, which meant that they were inside the off-limits space and his manager had told him that if that ever happened he could legally do anything to get people out, so he pulled out his baseball bat he had there, but at that point the boyfriend had pulled the guy to the floor, and so he just held the bat he had and instead started kicking the asshole guy in the head while the boyfriend had him down.
After a while, the guy got up on his knees, and he started shouting out, "Hit me, hit me!", and then when they stopped because that freaked them out, he then offered to buy the lighter he had been trying to get for free, back when he had insulted the woman and the boyfriend overheard and the fight had broken out.
"Now you ask?"," the (young) (heavy) (Mexican-American) gas station attendant was like. "Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of her," he told me he had told him.
He also also also said that one time he got in a fight and someone pulled out a Starbucks Frappuccino bottle from the fridge by the coffee dispenser and they broke it over his head and it drew blood.
(I can't remember the rest of the story, or even who the guy was.)
"Damn," I was like, "It gets crazy in here."
"Actually, usually it's pretty quiet," he was like.
Too, there's some lady who always tried to borrow things too, and sometimes while she does that she's coughing on them, and then she tries to put them back, but then they have to throw it out.
"We don't let her in here either," he was like.
But, it turned out that they didn't have a public restroom, so if I needed to go, I could just go around back and piss on the wall, the (young) (heavy) (Mexican-American) gas station attendant was like.
And, it was fine if I stood there and sipped the coffee and warmed up.
But, after a few minutes and we were chit-chatting some more, he was like, "Wait, I think here's an extra key," and he gave me a key.
The restroom was broken down and barren, and there was a huge chunk of light greenish-brown shit in the toilet that I pissed into, though it didn't really break apart.
And, the mirror had no frame and was cracked a bit at the edge, and one of the faucets didn't work.
After I got out and I returned the key to him and I thanked him, I started talking about the homeless community around there a little bit.
He said he thought he knew the couple that had been out in the open fucking on the concrete this summer, when I mentioned to him what the other woman had said to me.
He said that that's actually why they closed off the bathroom, sometimes people would pass out in there for two hours.
He also said that he heard something was going around and a few people had died, and his manager told him not to take any money with blood on it.
"Like an STD or something?", I was like.
"Yeah, I think," he was like.
He also also said that sometimes people get mad, like one guy who just got out of his car and started pissing on the front door.
Also, one time another person came in there and after trying to get a lighter for free he started talking some shit about a woman outside pumping gas and how he had seen her and her boyfriend fucking in the backseat of their car, and the boyfriend was in there and he overheard that and he started to fight him, where the boyfriend took the guy's head and slammed it into the coffee dispenser and then into the door that led into the glassed-off service space and then the door popped open, which meant that they were inside the off-limits space and his manager had told him that if that ever happened he could legally do anything to get people out, so he pulled out his baseball bat he had there, but at that point the boyfriend had pulled the guy to the floor, and so he just held the bat he had and instead started kicking the asshole guy in the head while the boyfriend had him down.
After a while, the guy got up on his knees, and he started shouting out, "Hit me, hit me!", and then when they stopped because that freaked them out, he then offered to buy the lighter he had been trying to get for free, back when he had insulted the woman and the boyfriend overheard and the fight had broken out.
"Now you ask?"," the (young) (heavy) (Mexican-American) gas station attendant was like. "Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of her," he told me he had told him.
He also also also said that one time he got in a fight and someone pulled out a Starbucks Frappuccino bottle from the fridge by the coffee dispenser and they broke it over his head and it drew blood.
(I can't remember the rest of the story, or even who the guy was.)
"Damn," I was like, "It gets crazy in here."
"Actually, usually it's pretty quiet," he was like.
Too, there's some lady who always tried to borrow things too, and sometimes while she does that she's coughing on them, and then she tries to put them back, but then they have to throw it out.
"We don't let her in here either," he was like.
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