Customer patterns.

A few weeks ago at the (Thai) restaurant, like the first 5 or 6 tables of the day were extraordinarily decisive, where they all folded up the menu right away and were like, "We already know what we want," and then proceeded to order it.

Like, you usually get a table like that fairly often, like maybe once or twice a shift, but this was every table from the very first table of the day, for like 5 or 6 in a row.

Also, the customers that shift were on the messy side, too, like where there was a lime and noodle bits and a sticky maroon paper napkin ring that we use to wrap silverware, all scattered around besides all these different tables.

Customer instructions...

...a bit ago at the (Thai) restaurant:

"I'm waiting for my boss, and when she gets here I'm going to order the [entree], and I won't say no onions, but make sure that the [entree] is no onions, I don't want to say it in front of her since I don't want her to know my dietary restrictions."

Restaurant holiday tree banter.

At the (Thai) restaurant where I work now, we kept our holiday (Christmas?) tree up in the front window until like January, and then one morning when I came in, the one owner with the tired face had it all bundled up in this huge blue tarp, and then she proceeded to start to drag it down the middle of the restaurant to take it out back or to wherever it was going.

"You look like a serial killer," I was like.

And, she laughed, and was like, "Yes, I killed a big one."

Restaurant joke.

The other week at the (Thai) restaurant the owners' oldest daughter was in there one weekday morning, and I was like, "If you skip school, don't come in here, your parents will see you!".

And, she said that some days she has an extremely early lunch break from school that starts at like eleven, and it's stupid.

Later, I told her mom (the owner with the tired face) about that, and she was like, "Oh, the two customers who are problems were in here last night" (i.e., her two youngest daughters, who I have a running joke about, where they're customers who eat but never pay a bill).

"Really?" I was like, "We should do something about that."

"Take their pictures and make a Facebook post," she was like.

"Or posters that we can hang in the windows of all the businesses downtown," I was like.

Restaurant tip trick.

Our system automatically assigns an 18% gratuity for parties of 6 or more, even if they want split checks afterwards.

So, when I bring the bills out, I point that out to people, telling them that "our system" does that and "I just want to let you know, so there's no confusion."

And, a lot of times, people add on a lot more in tip on top of that, to the point where you're making like 23-25% on the bill.

"Oh, he's so honest," they must be thinking.

Older couple at the restaurant.

The other week at the (Thai) restaurant, this (older) (white) couple of a (fatter) (bearded) (white) guy and a (shorter-haired) (laconic but not unpleasant) (white) lady came in and ordered some hot teas, an app, and one plate of pad thai, to share.

And, since there's only one free side salad at lunch per main entree, I pointed that out to them, and they ordered another house salad.

But, since that's typically a little bit bigger than the free side salads that we give away as our lunch special, I adjusted the amount of greenery between the two bowls, brought it out to them, and pointed out that I had done that.

"Since the house salad is just a little bit bigger than the side salad at lunch," I was like, "I put some of that in that one."

"Good," the lady was like. "We fight if it's not equal."

Restaurant optical illusion.

At the (Thai) restaurant where I now work, there's this one seat over by the side, that whenever I'm going around spot-sweeping, that I see out of the corner of my eye two very long thin bright orange strips sitting out on it, and I always think for a second that it's a few carrot strips that fell off of someone's pad thai, only it's not, it's where the chair seat cover got worn down and the cushion underneath is peeking out from where it's starting to pull apart, and the color of the foam underneath just happens to be the exact same color as carrots.

Not all the time, but every once in a while you're going around and see a noodle or a piece of green onion sitting out on a chair, so that particular chair always make me look twice, since I think it's carrots there.