No karaoke tonight, saddly.

No karaoke with my friend's mother-in-law tonight, saddly - the other few people going dropped out, and he and his wife thought they could definitely make it but weren't sure when depending on how long it took to get the mother-in-law back from the airport, and if she was tired she wasn't going, so I just chucked the whole thing in favor of going out with other friends. Oh well, there's always next time.

I did have a fun time at hipster karoake last time, though. The buck-toothed host recognized me and was psyched when I opened up with "Chiquitita", though the tight Swedish harmony did me in, and I got thrown by the fact that they did away with the instrumental beginning... It's just too hard to hold down the melody when you have these Swedish women singing harmony octaves above you. It's almost liked the time I sucked it up on "Ruby Tuesday" and fought valiantly against the harmony, though not quite.

For my second song, I did Barry Maguire's "Eve of Destruction", and I was *on*, especially since I had canvassed for Obama that morning and really felt the social commentary on lines like:

think of all the hate/
there is in Red China/
then take a look around/
at Selma Alabama

On lines like "my blood's so mad/ feels like coagulatin'" I felt something too, but I'm not sure what. But, I had a great time singing it, and did so emphatically, and in tune.

The night, however, fell apart from there. There was a roller derby team in there, and like three of the big, bruised-up chicks sang this really self-absorbed rendition of "Paradise City", where they were all singing and shouting together, which is nice as team-building exercise, but sucks it up for everyone else. My friends kept poking me for saying "This is total shit!" too loud, though I'm not sure if it's because they were embarrassed or they thought the roller derby chicks might overhear and come fuck me up.

Also, these two short fat hipster girls with dark dyed hair and pale tits all falling out of their shirts were standing behind me and my friends, and they said I did a good job after "Eve of Destruction", then we started talking and one of them said that they had rented out the American Legion post and the same karaoke host for one of their birthday parties, and how they all sang till 4am since they paid to keep the place open. We talked then about how fun karaoke was, and I at one point started telling them my theory of karaoke, and then all of a sudden, one of them was like, "Hey, we're those jackasses!", and then it was just awkward so I went back to drinking with my friends, and was embarrassed.

Later I went up to see where my one friend's name was - one of my friends I was with sang "The Safety Dance"; it's the only song he ever sings at karaoke, and though back when he used to live in Iowa he gave it up, he would go into bars there and they would call out his name and make him come up and have the song all cued up for him, all without him putting in a slip or anything, which was embarrassing for him but much better than our night went at hipster karaoke since the song's intro was gone just like with "Chiquitita", only the song's intro had some fun singing parts unlike the "Chiquitita" intro, which was all instrumental -- and it was way down the list, but the host asked me if I wanted to go ahead. I guess he lets regulars skip to the front of the line, and anyone who pays him $2, and anyone to whom he gives a "skip to the front of the line" card after you sing a really good song, or do something really nice for him.

Only, it was getting late, and I was uncomfortable with the in-group/out-group dynamics such a hierarchy of singers creates, so I politely refused. I've been to places like that before, and it's divisive in a major way, so I'm not going to do it, no not one bit.

That night, I had a dream that I was walking down a steep cobblestone street between the closely set whitewashed walls of a rural Italian village somewhere in the mountains, and up on these steep steps leading down from a door to a house where the two big-titted hipster girls dressed in long bright white robes. They were selling relics, I knew, even though I didn't see any, and they looked down at my glaringly, and I knew I had hurt their feelings by describing them as karaoke jackasses.

This morning I had a big scabby booger on the far outside of my left nostril, too. I picked it out and ate it.