Some mother-love at the blues club this past Saturday.

I went to a blues club last night with a friend who was in town. I don't like the blues -- I don't tend to like music where there's extended non-virtuosic slow variations that are supposed to have immediate emotional power (those "jams" that everyone talks about nowadays); I'm into short snappy songs with peppy lyrics and catchy hooks -- but I ended up having a half-way decent time anyways because there was this mom-type woman there on a date and she kept getting ass-grabbed all night. I couldn't look away.

She was kind of short with brown hair and a Jewish-looking forehead-nose structure, and she had an ass you could crack an egg on. It was very odd, since she had these major triceps and lines in her calves, but she also had on some thick, tall high heels and a mini-skirt that was at least a couple of inches above the knee. The guy she was with had a belly and that smooth, kind-of-scaly face you see on older guys who've had facelifts. He also had a short gray goatee and a dress shirt that was too baggy for him, and he was nowhere as near as hammered as she was; she kept swaying back and forth to the music and would turn to the stage and away from him -- they were sitting on barstools near the bar -- whenever the music came on. He kept leaning over and putting his hand on her seat so she would occasionally place her ass against it, and then he would usually move his hand up to the lower back/upper part of the ass region, though by the end of the night he had both of his hands out and under her so her just ass rested all the way up his forearms and she would lean back into him while swaying her head and looking at the stage.

My favorite part was when she was into the piano player and scampered up to take pictures of him on her digital camera. She kept leaning over him, and you could see the guy she was there with looking over and getting pissed -- someone came up to ask for her empty barstool and the guy made this pissed gesture over to her general direction and a clicking-a-camera gesture to the guy who was asking -- and at one point she squatted to take a picture, and she just squatted so her hips were parallel to the floor and she sat like that taking pictures and not holding anything for like three or four minutes, which is a fuck of a long time to squat like that, which is tough. She also had a hard time wearing a skirt and would keep striding around authoritatively and sitting with her legs wide open. I could picture her in a business outfit with shoulder pads.

Me and my friends definitely didn't like the guy, though, "Trish," we were like -- we nicknamed her Trish -- "why do you keep making these bad choices?" She was definitely on a first date and we all felt that she had been divorced a few times before. She seemed like a hot one. We all got pissed when the guy gestured over to her to come back and pointed at the empty barstool like she was a dog he was calling or something like that.