Silverfish made me scream.

The other day like 9pm or so I went to go take a bath and read my Jeffrey Dahmer conversion book, and I noticed that the window ledge was sooty since I always leave the window in the bathroom cracked, and I haven't cleaned/dusted in the couple months.

So, I moistened my cleaning sponge that I had gotten out from under the sink, and as I was wiping up the dirt, I noticed something move, and it was this huge silverfish that had been sitting somewhere among the soot, so I hadn't noticed it.

I screamed something like "aah!" and then, "Fuck!", and then the silverfish fell off the ledge into the dry part of the bottom of the the filling-bathtub, so I got the sponge and killed it.

That night, too, when I was reading, I saw something moving across the rug, and it was a small silverfish, and I killed it with some ILL paperwork that I keep in my book as a bookmark.

More Rot (Forgotten).

Somehow I forgot that rot -

When I had so much rot happening the other week, I went to go slice up a cucumber I had bought that I had had in the fridge for a few days, and though there was a small bad spot on the end, when I sliced it open, I discovered that there was this brown rotten vein that extended through the top-center of the whole thing, and I had to throw the whole thing out.

My mother's response to that one dream I had.

How my mom responded to that one dream I had:

That dream was all too funny, My interpretation is that it is the decongestant working its thing. [the reference librarian's] comment, "very bizarre, very bizarre". "very imaginative". [the library's IT guy]..."what is he smokin"?

Conversion bios!

I am so happy, I was able to ILL Roy Ratcliff and Lindy Adam's "Dark Journey Deep Grace: Jeffrey Dahmer's Story of Faith".

Also, I found out from a NYTimes obit that Manson Family member Sadie Mae Glutz had her own conversion story published, and ILLed that too.

More on Michael Jackson.

So, last week I finished reading J. Randy Taraborrelli's "Michael Jackson: The Music, the Madness, the Whole Story, 1958-2009", which was the 1st hardcover book I've boughten in I can't remember how long (tried to get the main library at school to ILL it, but they smacked me down and said it was "too recent").

Anyhow, at some point, I just stopped understanding Michael, and I also stopped thinking of him as a black man.

Beyond that, though, I find those insights somewhat helpful in understanding him:

- Michael was driven by being #1 in ticket sales, and was in a way trapped in the talent show mentality that got him and his family out of Gary; he couldn't understand how journalists said that Madonna had a successful tour when she wasn't selling out stadiums (i.e., he couldn't see success as solely artistic realization).

- Michael would lie - e.g. starting the stories of him sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber and wanting to buy the elephant man's bones - and had a hard time confronting people, and would surround himself by employees who he would put between himself and his family and one-time friends and associates when he didn't want to deal with them (and they would still think they were friends with him, but the people around him were keeping him from them).

- He lived at home for way way too long, and until he built Neverland, his only real time away from family (tours don't count!) was when he was filming "The Wiz" in New York - which, in my opinion, was the moment when a window opened for him, and he should have escaped.

Also, the 2nd molestation case was bullshit, but the 1st one, who knows. I can see him doing it. So, so fucked up.

Trivia: UK's Channel Five.

According to J. Randy Taraborrelli's "Michael Jackson: The Music, the Madness, the Whole Story, 1958-2009", the UK's Channel Five's most successful original program ever was a documentary called "Michael Jackson's Face". Can't find any more info about that documentary, though.

My question - who wouldn't watch that?

Dream.

I had a dream about the library the library in my hometown the other night. All sorts of modernistic statues depicting shamans from Ghana as an educational exhibit, and then there was a small monkey in the back computer room who could sing and had a band with high school kids after hours. There was even this shelf that extended high across the length of the room back there; he was hiding in the corner when I came in, and then the high school kids came in and sang with him (the monkey sang in English, I found that only mildly surprising in my dream).

I e-mailed my mother for interpretations.