"There's a lot of dissociation going on."

Like last month when I caught up with a (woman) who I know from my master's program who got into editing, I was saying something about how everyone is kind of enmired in sh*t jobs with no obvious way out, and she agreed and was like, "There's a lot of dissociation going on," which observation I passed over at the time, but I've thought back to a number of times since.

Like, there she is, apparently professional, but still in her same big rental apartment from a number of years ago, with no condo or down payment for a house, though of course I don't ask about that.

(She does have a big apartment and she does take periodic decent vacations, so I honestly wonder if that sucks up some money, but on the other hand, it's probably not that much money, and to fixate on that would be more my looking for some sort of personal failings in her, to explain her overall financial profile.)

And, here I am, with skills to excel in any number of better-paying jobs, but no sure paths to them, and it would take ungodly amounts of time and energy to even make an attempt at that, with no decent chance of success, so I don't bother, because I'm kind of done with that sort of draining risk-taking and empty promises that just sucks up months and years of your life.

It really is like dissociation, where you just keep doing what you're doing and you try not to think about the larger picture of not being at the minimum level that you should be at, with a profession and some sort of recognizable life.

It's not everyone my age who's like this, by no means a majority, but it's definitely a noticeable chunk of very smart and very skilled people, especially those who aren't partnered and combining income that way, and it's "a vibe."