This group of like (four) (kind of fat) (brown-skinned) (med students) who look vaguely (South Asian) but at least one of whose credit cards has the (Canadian) maple leaf flag on it when they've been in before, since I had checked it one time since they come in a lot but usually never tip, maybe like 12% at most, and I wanted to know where they were from.
And, immediately when they come in, the one guy is like, "Can we sit over here" and demands to go over to this part of the restaurant where we usually never sit people, then we put them over there, and it's in the middle of a period where we're getting slammed -- that day we went through four whole trays of side salads, when maybe you'd get just over two, at most -- and then they call me over like five minutes later when I'm trying to help other people who got there beforehand, and I tell them that I'll be with them in a minute, and then I get there like five-to-six minutes later and take their order, and I even run over in the middle of that to put the apps order in right away, as soon as they want chicken satay (the chicken takes forever to roast), and then they order their main meals and the one (the fattest one of the four, this very fat guy with rolling double and triple chins who's big enough to fill two chairs) orders one of the 2 fried rices that has multiple meats in it and makes like 3 modifications to it, 2 ingredients out and then "put an extra egg in, they usually don't charge me for it since I don't have the other stuff" (which seems like bullshit to me but I don't fight), and then I gather up menus and put their main meals in, and then like five minutes after that the very fat guy calls me over to check if what he ordered has chicken in it, and I'm like, "Sir, I am not sure, and I already put in the order in," and I dash over to the nearby host stand to grab a menu and I give it to him and am uncontrollably a bit snippy and am like, "Please read the description and make sure that that's the item that you want, and tell me right away if it is not, so we can stop the kitchen," and then I go over to help some other people.
And, a few minutes later I'm by there again, and he seems chastened, and he says it's right, and I tell my one (tall) (skinny) (white) sound guy coworker dude to help them the rest of the shift, since they're being little bitches with me and it's probably best if he deals with them.
"Man," he was like, when I was saying what they had done.
And, later, he was clearing plates and going to get the bills, and they were really insistent that they get it now, and then he's over there dividing up the checks and assigning the appetizers, and the (female) owner with the tired face comes by, and she asks him to print out their bills, since they had called her over too and asked her to get on it.
"What a pain in the ass those people are," I was like, as soon as she was gone.
And, I told him that there was this function where you could split up the individual items into fractions in case people wanted to pay for portions of one plate on separate bills, but they were the kind of customers I'd never tell that to, since they'd want one appetizer split in 2 and put on 2 of the 4 bills and maybe like another one put onto 3 bills and it would just be chaos, and besides, they're assholes.
And later, we go to clear the table, and tips are maybe like 8-12%, with one like 15%, and someone had left an empty plastic Gatorade bottle as trash on the floor behind the one seat towards the wall, they just left it on the floor, they had never even bothered to pick it up and put it on the table.
"I bet they're training to be surgeons," I was like to my coworker. "Surgeons can be assholes like that."
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