Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Deep-seated voyeurism.

Last week I attended an address by a prof from my department at an evangelical-sponsored talk on campus, and she opened by being like, "Since we're all together here, let me speak out loud the prayer I say silently before every time I address an audience," and she then asked God so that her work might be in accordance with His ends.

Today I attended another evangelical-sponsored talk on campus, and several times the visiting prof was like, "Since we're all believers...", and then he gave advice on how to witness to skeptical classmates who are "spiritual" but aren't into "Jesus spirituality that gets shoved down people's throats", and how you have to back off and later tell them that they should hear you out so that they can live in accordance with how God created them. Later he also said that "Crash" got an Oscar because it revels in moral ambiguity, which our society prizes.

Both times I felt very uncomfortable and vaguely titillated -- an intellectual titillation, not a physical one, though I felt it it my chest -- since somehow I wasn't supposed to be there listening and I wasn't included in their "you"s; I felt like someone with glass to ear leaning against a door. I think it's one thing to be shocked by the fact that many prominent boy band members were frequently molested due to the complicity of their parents -- I could hardly think of or speak about anything else for two days afterwards -- but it's another thing here, and it pushes my boundaries more than finding out about N*Sync members getting hummers or people telling me they've always wanted to nail a hot mom or the like... Going to evangelical talks is just outside of my voyeuristic comfort zone, I think, and all I can say is that for one thing I'm disturbed, and for another that I want more.

2 comments:

JUSIPER said...

Yes.

el blogador said...

As in yes you can see the connection, as in yes you want more too, or as yes in you're imitating me getting off on something?