Tiredness.

That tired feeling of a messy apartment and multiple open projects can really get to me sometimes. It’s like everything is disorganized and weird and you can’t get it under control.

Right now I think a big part of it is the set-up that I have against bedbugs, with diatomaceous earth around the edges of my room and my minimal bedroom stuff bagged and boxed to ward off against bedbug infestation, and none of that really changeable to neaten up until 6-8 weeks have passed since the last bites (thankfully that only happened twice and all within like one week, so the time will elapse relatively soon, unless some have somehow survived my treatments and resurface, which would reset the clock).

The amount of (small-to-larger-sized) trips that I’ve taken this year is also getting to me – it’s stacking up to be like 7 trips in 7 months, all of which involves laundry and packing and sometimes complicated multi-stage transportation arrangements since the area I live in is a bit remote, and on top of that I have to try to wake up early and set my getting-up-and-going-to-bed times back to something more normal, since overall I have a later daily-life schedule due to the nights of restaurant work.

Usually I’d just take a day and clean my apartment and do laundry and everything would be like “Ahhhhhhh” again, but that’s not really possible now until the window with bedbugs has passed, which is all the way on the other side of another longer trip that I have to figure out and pack for, all while my apartment is disarray.

The big factor here really is the (perhaps dead by now) bedbugs – no sense of order and cleanliness and mental space until I can stop treatments and clean up everywhere after what I'd set out and arranged against them.