Three things that happened one night at the (Thai) restaurant the other week:

1) That same night the three (white) women were in town to hear a band, this (old) (like early 80s) (white) couple sat down, and the (shorter) (fatter) (short-haired) (round-faced) wife just had this big scowl plastered on her bleached crinkly face, and she just seemed super unhappy, whether that was how she always is, or something had happened that she had went and brought inside the restaurant and was affecting her there.

And, she wanted some (red) wine that we were out of, and then she asked for the pinot noir, and I said that we might have almost a full glass of that left, and if not, we could discount it accordingly.

So, she said that was fine, and so I went and brought her a glass that was like 65% full, and I said we could give it to her for $4.

"And how much is it regularly?", she was like.

"Seven," I was like.

And, it was like the gears were whirring behind her scrunchy little pig eyes as she calculated the price  of the wine and how unhappy she was feeling and whatnot, and then all that stopped and her face became calm and she went and she sipped it, and then she just exclaimed and was like, "This wine is awful, it tastes like the bottle has been open forever!".

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I was like, and then I said that I had opened the bottle myself the previous night, and we used vacuum corks.

"Well, I don't want it," she was like, and then she asked me for another (red) wine, but there was even less of that one left, and so the only real option was merlot, and when I told her that, she was like, "Well, let's forget about the wine," she was just so determined to be unhappy.

(One of the three [white] women was also drinking the pinot noir and they were all still there, so I asked her before the table paid their bill if everything was okay because we had had a complaint about it, and I told her that someone had said that it tasted really old although I had opened the bottle myself the previous night, and she said no, it was fine, it actually tasted really fresh.)

2) Like forty minutes before closing, this (short) (Central American-looking) (young) guy comes in and walks to a table and slumps in it, and I was busy in the back, but my one (chubby) (Thai) coworker and my one (older) (Thai) coworker who's a whiz at the phones got me as soon as I come out, to ask me to go talk to him.

And, I do, and he says something, and I switch to (Spanish), and he asks me for a michelada, and I say we don't have that, and then he slumps over to go to sleep again, and somehow I talk to him and get him over to the door, and he's staggering, and he's confused on how to open the door, and we get him outside.

Then, I briefly talk to my coworkers, and I end up calling the police because the guy is so severely drunk that he could walk into traffic and get hit, though I specify that he wasn't belligerent or anything like that, just super drunk and could be hurt.

And, before the police comes, he comes inside again, and we have to get him outside again, and then the police come and we can see a (late 30s) (taller) (white guy) officer talking to him and giving him some stern warning, at the end of which the guy goes off staggering away down the sidewalk away from the restaurant and the restaurant windows where we can see everything, and we never see him again for the rest of the night.

3) After the whole super busy night, my one (older) (Thai) coworker who's a whiz at phones reminds me ten minutes before close that I still have to drink the pinot noir, so I pick the glass up that's been sitting out that whole while and I go to chug it.

Then, right before I do, I stop and am like, "And now I will be drunk like that guy."

"And we will call the police on you," she was like.