Brown rice is awesome.

You know, eating brown rice is awesome.

The taste isn't as good as white rice, but it really does just clear you out, like you wake up in the morning and even without coffee you need to go, and you just shit this huge pile into your toilet, like PHWOOM, and your belly feels so free and clear afterwards, for like the whole day.

Like, I made fun of old people for years for talking about fiber so much, but they knew what the f*ck they were talking about!

I remember back in late elementary school, this one teacher would always get the same gift for any teacher who was turning like forty or fifty or whatever, any age that was a big "10" one -- she would get them a nice bouquet of flowers, put into a Metamucil bottle.

The reason it's a joke, is because it's TRUE!