Shit mystery.

Like a few weeks ago, I was taking my regular shit that I take when I wake up, and immediately when I had it, I thought, "Oh, that's a good one."

And, when I looked, it was like this gigantic firm mound sitting right in the middle of the toilet, like the top 40% of a shit football or something like that, if you cut a football right above the pointed ends and then put it in a toilet, so that it mounds way up above the water.

Weirdly, too, it wasn't coils or anything like that, but neither was it liquidy, like I had just shit out successive squirts and they had mounded up one on top of the other like paper mache, or like layers of plaster that you sometimes find during the demolition of historic buildings. Instead, it was just like this big mound that had fallen straight from my ass, though of course it was much much too large to come out of someone's asshole.

Oddly, too, the only thing different that I had eaten lately was a take-out club sandwich, and mentally I just couldn't figure out how you'd get from one to the other, from that sandwich to that shit I was looking at.