Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Last sex doc, ever.

So the sex doc series that I've been going to for over 4 years wound down a few weeks ago.  

Though it was still successful and there was always a good crowd and new people kept showing up, both the curator and the host decided it was time to end, and so it did, with a film about an Australian man with a disabled wife who decides to open a brothel.

During the discussion period, people talked a lot about sex work.

"Some people go into sex work with dollar signs in their eyes, but it's like anything else, you have to work for it, and the people who do okay in it really are savvy people," the one (white) woman who does sex work and sex worker outreach said.

Then some guy commented that he knew some people who decided to open up their house for swinger parties, and they made some money at first, but then attendance dropped off and then they just stopped.

"It's like anything, to do well in it it has to be your passion, people sense that," he was like.

Then this one couple, a (white) woman in her mid-30s with bright pink hair and black-rimmed glasses and a (white) guy in his mid-30s with a goatee and a seriously tweezed-out moustached and black-rimmed glasses - said that since they started doing sex work, they watch porn and dissect how much the people in it get paid per act.

"Like, 'Wow, a DPDA, that's $4000," the guy was like.

Later, everyone adjourned to a bar to socialize, and it was nice, since a lot of people who hadn't been to the series in a while (at least when I'd been there) came out for the last film.

One guy who did show up was the one (dark-haired) (white) guy who's a computer programmer and into BDSM, with his fiance.

He got into his favorite topic, how there's not many other male subs out there, and so him and some other people started talking about how that differs culturally, and how like in Tokyo it's nothing but male subs, and how in Belgium fem subs are seen as out-of-line for public play, but it's okay in your own home.

The one (white) female sexologist also was there, and she was talking with the (dark-haired) (white) (BDSM) guy's girlfriend about different stuff, and listening to her talk about how she loves Dan Savage etc. and wants to mainline him she likes him so much and she identifies with him since she understands what it's like not to like vagina too.

"[Her boyfriend's name] has a book of vulvas and I tried to open it up, errr, I open and I try to look, and I do, but I just can't, no, not for me, no book of vulvas, disgusting, no book of vulvas."

"Which one?", the sexologist was like.

Then, when the girlfriend replied, the sexologist was like, "Oh, that's the first one, it's a classic," and she said it had been recently reprinted.

Later, the one guy I know from there who's into BDSM who I've been friends with talked some more with the (white) (female) sexologist, and he was saying how he feels judged and out of place a lot at dungeons, since he's just not into public sex.

"Watching or participating?", she was like.

"Both," he said.  "I could tolerate it for a while, but really, at the end of the day, I'm monogamous," and at that point he started talking about how there was an assumption in BDSM that you were polyamorous or just out to fuck around, and that made things hard.

"There really is no perfect sex community," the sexologist was like.  "Though if there was, I'd like, 'Here!'".

Later, I started talking with the sex worker / sex worker outreach volunteer woman some about my bar project, and I brought up the one Mexican trannie bar that I've heard about and have passed by but haven't been to (yet!).

"I've heard of that!", she was like.  "I got a call about it, there were a lot of prostitution busts and someone was writing an article about it."

"No shit!", I was like, and then I started telling her about the one late night club I sometimes pop into where all this crazy shit happens, and there's a lot of stuff, but as I began to explain myself, I realized I wasn't using the right words...

"Yeah," I was like, "All the time I see, uh, uh, Mexican...  trannies there, and there always - " and at that I paused -

"You know, hookin'."

She kind of gave me a blank face, patiently, and then said something about "transwomen" this, but I didn't hear her say any correct terminology for prostitution, unfortunately.

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