1) Whenever people around school tell me they're busy, I've now started being like, "You're busy? I don't even have time to cut myself!"
2) The other week I was in the grad school coffee shop and I was chit-chatting with the workers I know, and I mentioned a matinee I was going to on the weekend and invited them along to join me.
"I'd like to," this one masters student said, "But I'm actually flying home to California for a funeral."
"What's the movie about?", this other doctoral student asked.
"Oh, about a donkey in a small French village, and how he's treated depending on who his owners are," I was like. "I think he gets beaten a lot."
"Why would anyone want go see that?", a 3rd coffee shop worker was like.
"To make people who go to funerals feel fortunate," I was like, and they all had horrified looks on their faces, but were laughing in spite of themselves.
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