Two tendencies of (South Asian from South Asia) women...

...that I've noticed at the one (Thai) restaurant where I work now:

1) Occasionally I've noticed that there's this type of (South Asian from South Asia) (female) customer, where, you come by the table to check on them like if they're ready to order or to see if their food is okay -- the owners ask that we do that after every course that's served, appetizer and entree and dessert! -- and, the moment you begin speaking, they just slowly turn their head towards you to look at you and they have this look of just complete and utter disdain, like, how could you approach us and begin to speak to us unbidden, and it took me a while to put my finger on it, but I finally realized what that look is, it's the look that someone has when they smell dogshit.

(I wonder if they come from a summoning culture, where you only summon the people who wait on you when they are needed, versus something more pro-active on the server's part...  When I read a website where [Indian] people discuss why [Indian] people can be bad tippers that a[n Indian-American] friend had sent me after discussing that issue, someone on that webpage had made a comment that restaurant culture is different in [India], and people don't expect waiters to be affable and have jokes and conversation with them.)

2) Occasionally I've noticed that there's this type of (South Asian from South Asia) woman who will shut down any server interaction with the table when you first approach the table to check if anyone is ready with any drink or appetizer orders. Like, I had come up to this one (late middle-aged) (South Asian from South Asia) four-top and asked, and the main woman there immediately said no, they did not need anything, they need more time, but this (older) (middle-aged) guy there at the same time is like "thank you" and starts saying he's hungry, look there's this type of dumpling etc. (which is exactly why I ask the question!), and, she just talks over him to me and again is like, no, we do not need anything right now, to the point where I really can't continue being there, and I have to leave the hungry man alone and unaided and somewhat crestfallen. Another time, too, there was a huge reservation for what turned out to be a visiting (South Asian from South Asia) mom with her (South Asian-American) kid and the kid's (mixed) friend group, and I check the one half of the table, and she shuts down the request, but then I go to check the other half -- I don't know what the f*ck is going on, you have to remember, we have shit happen all the time where someone is like diabetic and needs a soda right then or something to eat right then, twice I've actually had diabetic customers faint in the restaurant because they had misestimated their blood sugar and food wait-times -- and so I ask out loud, "Okay, are we all okay down here as well, no drink or appetizer order?", and, she just flashes me this glare, like, why was I still asking, she had already said no. I mean, sure, she was probably paying from all appearances, but what if someone was undercaffeinated and needed a tea right then, why shouldn't we check, I shouldn't pre-judge the group and who's in charge, I should ask everyone equally, just like how I never pre-judge who will pay from any random couple where there's one check for both of them, and I place the bill in the middle of them, and not towards whoever I suspect to be paying.

(I wonder if they come from a culture, where there's a household order and the woman acts as authoritative hostess, in managing help and orchestrating such occasions like large meals, and so you step on their toes by not having all service channeled through them.)